Last September, I came down with a horrible sickness…it turned out to be an enterovirus (but I did not know that’s what it was until it was over).  I had medical tests done, and was told I was fine, but for three long months, I could hardly eat anything without it upsetting my entire digestive tract.  I lost fifteen pounds because all I was eating was bananas, applesauce, rice…and whatever gluten free crackers and yogurts I could manage.  Along with the sickness came fear, frustration, anxiety, and even depression…I just couldn’t get over this thing…and the not knowing what it was, made me SO afraid!  I hosted Thanksgiving and couldn’t even eat any of what I had made!!  There were MANY tears…and lots of prayers from those who I confided in.  Everything in me was telling me to trust God…that He would come through.  I remembered all that He’d gotten me through in the past, but I felt like I was in a dark hole and I couldn’t get out. “God, what is going on???” I would cry.

Then one night, God answered.

He gave me a dream.  Not just any dream, it was a dream that has since changed my life.  I dreamt I came home to my house one evening and my Christmas tree had been stolen!  A dark enemy had come in an open window, grabbed hold of my tree (with ornaments and all), dragged it out the window, and taken off with it.  I was devastated and felt violated in the dream.  Someone had been in my home!!  It was bright inside my home and dark outside…so I knew I was being watched from the outside.  So creepy!! AND get this: this thief had the audacity to write me a note and leave it where the tree once stood.  In scratchy handwriting it said, “YOU THANK GOD TOO MUCH.”  Seriously?

But the me in my dream was awesome!  I would love to be more like her!! 🙂   I loved what I did!  Instead of being afraid, because I knew the enemy was lurking outside watching what I would do, I ran over to my fireplace mantle where my music player was, and put on some praise and worship music.  I then began to twirl around the room and sing songs…loud worship love songs to Jesus!!!  It was as if I was slapping that enemy right in the face!  It was as if I was saying, “Thank God too much, you say??  Okay enemy… that’s pretty lame to take my tree…now I’ll thank God all the more!”

I woke up and knew exactly what God was saying.  God was reminding me that I have an enemy who was trying to steal my joy!!  1 Peter 5:8 says, “Stay alert!  Watch out for your great enemy, the devil.  He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” He’s mad because I’m “thanking God too much” apparently.  It all became instantly clear…I’m in a battle!  “Okay.  I get it now.”  In one simple dream, God gave me my “battle plan”…and that was to worship Jesus.

Get this:  When Paul and Silas were beaten up, and then imprisoned for telling people about the love of Jesus (Acts 16:23) they did the coolest thing ever!  They worshiped God in their prison cell!  Instantly there was a massive earthquake, their chains fell off, the doors flew open, and they were set free!

I love to dance.  I love to sing.  I love to worship Jesus with everything in me…and this was my beautiful ticket to freedom!  I hadn’t been doing ANY of this while in my “hole”.  I’m ashamed to admit that I was too busy whining, complaining, accusing God, and feeling sorry for myself.  From that dream on, (and it wasn’t always easy because I was feeling so icky), every chance I got, I began to worship Jesus!  I knew I was slapping that enemy in the face, and that brought the biggest smile to my face!!  You know what happened?  I got well.  It was a slow process…but a process in the right direction, and more than that, my joy was restored!  I was finally set free!

My pastor spoke today on “standing” in battle, and how sometimes, it’s not about gaining ground, it’s about standing when the battle is raging around you, and not retreating.  Standing is a victory in and of itself.  Since then, I will tell you that I worship God a lot more.  I thank Him a lot more too.  I am determined to stand whenever necessary.  I fail a lot (A LOT), but I am more aware of what’s really going on around me. There’s a battle for my soul…but I know Who’s I am…and He’s already won the war. 🙂