Not too long ago I had a dream that I was running in a race.  I was struggling, however, because strapped onto my back was a HEAVY black backpack.  As I ran, the pack was so heavy it would pull my shirt back so that the shirt neckline was sort of chocking me!  I kept tugging my shirt in the front to give it some slack, only to have to repeat the process every few minutes.  I was carrying in my hand a way-too-large water bottle as well…and needless to say I was getting frustrated and tired.

I saw a stream up ahead and stopped there to take a break and “readjust” everything I was carrying.  Then it dawned on me, “what’s in this pack anyway?  Why am I even carrying this with me?  Why lug a gigantic water bottle when there’s a stream to drink from along the way?”  I suddenly knew the pack contained nothing important at all and so I took it off and set it down.  I planned to abandon it there and keep racing…and that’s when I woke up.  I admit, I was bummed because I kind of wanted to see myself do well! 😉

I’m not a “runner” by any means…I don’t enjoy it unless I’m running on a court to make a basket… or running after my kids in a game of chase!  I will sometimes run at the gym…but only to burn calories so I can fit in my clothes! 😉  Inside, I’m whining and fussing and anxious to be done!!  Long distance running is SO NOT my thing!  But I do know many people who are runners (my own hubby being one of them) who have trained and run great distances…and I’m sure they would all agree that running a race with a heavy backpack strapped on is a bad idea!

A long distance runner on a remote desert highway.

Hebrews 12:1 says, “Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross…”

I’m just going to say it.  I often goof up on my race!  “Often” is probably not even the right word… “frequently” is more like it!  (Gasp!!  I’ve shocked you, haven’t I?!)  😉  While others seem to be racing on ahead…I’m busy strapping on heavy black backpacks full of unnecessary stuff! I’m toting around large bottles of warm “plastic bottle water” when God has provided cool, fresh water for me to drink along the way!

I knew God was speaking to me in that dream.  That darn pack was full of worry over the icky job situation my husband had to face every day, the worry over my kids fighting the flu, keeping up with my messy home, my daughter’s huge book report project, my own lack of energy, planning two kids birthday parties, the stress of keeping up with healthy dinners for my family…and just a million other little cares that when all crammed together in a backpack made for one VERY HEAVY load!  A load that I wasn’t allowing God to carry.  I’m so glad in the dream I found the stream.  I’m glad I took off the pack and laid it down.

I cried that morning.  A good cry…a surrender cry.  “God, I can’t carry all of this.  Even the little things feel heavy at this point!  It’s too much for me and it’s choking the life out of me.   So I’m laying it all down before You now and I’m going to run this race with joy because from now on I’m just going to trust you completely.  When new things feel like they are weighing me down, I’m going to ask for Your help and I’m not going to worry about them.  My eyes are fixed on YOU! :)”

I felt different after that.  Lighter.  I had no idea I’d even been carrying that load…but God knew.  He’s so generous, and He desires only GOOD things for us.  Always!

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”  1 Peter 5:7

When I was about 12 or 13 years old, my all time favorite music artist was a woman by the name of Karen Wheaten!  She was my Christian “idol” in a way…although I didn’t worship her…I DID however want to be like her in every way possible!!  I wanted her southern accent, I wanted to wear pretty dresses like her, I wanted beautiful hair like hers, and I wanted to sing to thousands of people just like her and have God touch people through the powerful songs she sang.  I wanted God to use me in the same way He used her!  She would travel the world and minister to millions…and I wanted to do that too!!!

So when she came to Oakland, California for a big Christian conference being held at some major hotel, you can guess how excited I was!  My Mom and I went together, even staying in the hotel together which was incredibly fun!  The conference was even more exciting and wonderful than I had ever imagined!  AND there was Karen…singing her heart out for Jesus and I was in awe!  I should mention here, that I had been taking voice lessons for several years at that time and was already singing mostly her songs to old people in convalescent homes!! 😉  They are a good audience to practice on because it’s hard for them to hear very well, and they also can’t escape very fast! 😉

Then it happened.  It was after one of the afternoon sessions at the conference that my Mom and I decided to head up to our room in the hotel.  We got in the elevator and do you know who got in after us?  Yep…Karen Wheaton!  Oh my gosh?!?!  I was so excited!!!  This was God blessing me…I mean, how else could this have happened?! The doors shut and my head started swimming fast with things I wanted to say…but the most AWFUL thing suddenly happened…my mouth would NOT open!  I think the shock of it all hit me so hard, I suddenly became very shy and star struck at being in the elevator with Karen Wheaton. Oh no!!!   I began to panic in my mind!  BUT…cue the superhero music as my mom suddenly rescued the day!!  She is VERY quick when it comes to me acting weird (no comment, please) so she figured out quick what was happening! After only a few seconds of painful silence, she did something I will forever love her for.  She began to speak to Karen Wheaton FOR me. 🙂  I’m so not kidding!

“Hi Karen, this is my daughter, Tami.”  She gestured to me, as if prompting me to say something. As Karen said hi to me, all I could do was smile weirdly back.  I was still speechless!  So my mom continued.  “She loves your music and sings many of your songs.”  I was hypnotized by how much Karen just sparkled with her sparkly jewelry, sparkly make-up and her sparkly dress.  She was even more beautiful up close!!! She said some nice things to me while I simply smiled dumbly back.  But my mom was on a roll!!  “She’s even won some trophy’s singing your songs, Karen!”  I felt like I was going numb and thought I might just pass out there in the elevator right in front of Karen Wheaton!!  They chatted on very naturally for a while longer while I just smiled on like a weird elevator statue (at least I THINK my face was smiling…I had sort of blanked out at that point and don’t remember much). The elevator finally came to our floor, we got out, said goodbye, the doors shut and that was that.

Did I feel bad that I was so shy in the elevator?  Nope!  I squealed when we got to our room!!!  I was BEYOND excited!!! All I could think was that I got to meet Karen Wheaton in an elevator ride!!!  Who cares that I didn’t speak a peep to her…she knows I exist and that I sing her music…that was enough for me!  For the rest of that conference and for that month really, I was floating on a very “sparkly” cloud!   Do you know that later on I wrote her a letter and she actually wrote me back?!?!  She still ministers in song to this day…and although I don’t follow her as closely as I did back then, I still remember that special  day that I met Karen Wheaton in the elevator. 🙂

With God, all things are possible!! 🙂  I knew He loved me.

Oh!  By the way, that last picture of me was at my first singing recital in about 7th or 8th grade…I was so nervous my sweaty hands sort of wet crinkled the front of my skirt!! 😉  I hit this huge long note that was way off key…it sounded horrible but everyone smiled just the same!  Oh, and Karen, if you ever read this…thank you for inspiring me to always trust God and to simply fall in love with Jesus!

I must have been about 9 or 10 years old when I found it.  It was like finding buried treasure in the garage!!  It was an old brown jumprope with wooden handles…probably belonging to my Dad or someone older back in their “younger days”!  But now it was mine! I tried jumping rope with it, but it was an adult size jumprope so that didn’t work out too well.  I played with it as best I could and eventually discarded it in pursuit of other backyard adventures.  It lost it’s thrill as quickly as I had found it.

Several days or maybe even weeks later I was climbing this low branch of one of our backyard pine trees when I was suddenly struck with an incredible idea.  I wonder if I could throw one end of that old brown jumprope over this tree limb and while hanging onto the handles…run down this little hill here and just fly!!!  It would be like a swing that I could hang onto.  With lightening fast speed, I reclaimed my abandoned treasure once again and put my plan into place.  It WAS AMAZING!!  It worked!  I’d hold onto the handles, run down the slope until there wasn’t any more earth beneath my feet, and just soar!!  It would pull me back again and with eager anticipation for my next flight, I would start over!  I had created this backyard bliss with just an old brown jumprope!

Then I noticed another tree next to the lawn that I could try!  Pulling down the jumprope, and running over to try out this new tree, I quickly began to swing from it like I had the other one.  Only this one was different in that it lacked the hill for speed, but I found I could fling my body up higher and even go a greater distance!  The whole thing was exhilarating and wonderful…wonderful that is, until something unexpected happened…something I had not planned for.

With one final take off, I was flying through the air…and my smile turned the other direction when I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was STILL soaring past the pull-back point!  I was holding both handles…but only one end was still connected to rope!  My handle had broken off and I was now flying high into the air!!  Yes, I know what you are thinking…that what goes up must come down!  And so I did.

I came crashing down onto the earth with such a THUD that it knocked the wind completely out my body (if you’ve ever had that happen, you know those strange sounds you make as you are trying to get air back in)!  Air regained, kind of sore and somewhat dazed…I stood to my feet just stunned.  “NOOOOO!”  That was it.  And just like that, my adventure was over.

I never “jumprope swung” again after that.  I don’t know if it was because I was scared to fall hard and get my wind knocked out again… or just that I’d lost my faith in wooden-handled jumpropes to hold me anymore…but whatever the reason, I’d never try again.

I was thinking of that yesterday morning.  I’d almost forgotten that memory…but God has a way of sometimes using past experiences to speak to us today.  I love that about Him!  So here it is:

I have to wonder to myself, how many adventures am I missing out on because I’m afraid of getting hurt, or because I’ve forgotten how to trust that God will protect me?  As a kid, I wasn’t afraid of anything…maybe just the dark.  Obviously not afraid of jumprope swinging!  😉 But somehow as I got older, I became more afraid.  I experienced other “falls” in life and so have become more guarded and unsure.  “Bad things have happened to me, God!!”  I will remind Him at times…but He’s also quick to remind me of ALL the GOOD things that have happened when I’ve chosen to trust Him as well. Do you know what?  Those FAR OUTWEIGH the bad.   There are a billion times more good than bad…so what’s stopping me?  Am I allowing fear to run the show here?  No…not anymore.  I’m choosing to trust God.

Lovingly, and tenderly…but without hesitation…God says not to fear.  He says that a lot…because we need to hear it a lot. He wants us to soar and feel the excitement of life with HIM!  Unafraid, and completely trusting in Him, I want to see where He takes me!  Someone get me a jumprope because I want to swing on THAT!  But unlike that old wooden-handled jumprope, I know God won’t break! 😉

“Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9