I LOVE riding my bicycle!!  When I turned 40 this past June, I was blessed with my dream gift…a beautiful light blue bicycle with a cute white basket in the front!!  It’s the kind of bike that needs a trip to the farmer’s market and a puppy riding in the front!! 😉  It has this extra cushy gel pad over the already cushy seat (an extra special gift from my extra special hubby)!!  Basically, it’s the “Driving Miss Daisy” of bicycles…so,  I call her “Daisy”.  Don’t laugh at me…okay, go ahead…it IS kinda funny! 😉  I totally would!

I’m just gonna say it:  I love Daisy!!!

I don’t know if it’s the time to myself without kids talking to me, or the fresh air hitting my brain.  Whatever the reason, I just love riding Daisy!   I can go at my own pace, I can tune out the rest of the world, and just hear myself think thoughts from beginning to end…uninterrupted!!  Honestly, I don’t get that a lot with three kids!  I love to feel the muscle burn of going up a huge hill and then be rewarded with the exhilirating rush of going back down again. I will actually squeal with delight on those rides down…only when no one is near of course…cause I feel like a kid again!!!  A big 40 year old KID!!!  But more than any of that…I just love the time I can spend freely talking to God about whatever comes to mind.  I probably talk too much…but I get the feeling He’s okay with that! 🙂  I know I talk a lot when I’m happy…I’ve always been that way.

Sunday, I met a dear friend for an early breakfast at Chow (one of my favorite restaurants to eat at…with the best coffee ever…but the coffee has nothing to do with anything so I will continue!), and after hugging my friend goodbye, I hit the trail…just me and Daisy!  It was cold…the wind chill was numbing my fingers as I rode, but that didn’t rob me of the joy I felt one bit!  In a way it sort of added to the excitement I felt!  I was on another adventure…just me, Daisy, the elements and the open road ahead!  I felt so free!

At one point, as I was pedaling on a long slightly uphill grade, I  was telling God about how I know I’m a wife, I’m a mom, I make greeting cards, I am a genealogist it seems now, and yet…I keep feeling like I’m waiting for God to launch me into some kind of ministry or special way of loving on others!!  I used to have that feeling when I was teaching elementary school…but now I’m home with my kids.  Don’t get me wrong…I love it and it was my choice!!!  But they are growing up and life is getting easier, my time is freeing up a little bit, and I’m feeling the whole “40 thing” STRONG!!!  It seems like everyone around me seems to know what they are called to and is either ministering to the homeless, going to share God’s love overseas, encouraging women in God, raising money or awareness for people groups and global needs…and I’m just bumping along here in life still trying to figure out what I’m “called” to do (I know, I know being a mom is “ministry”…yes, I agree…but is that where it ends?)  I often ask God, “Father, will you put a people group or something on my heart?  What can I do?  Send me, I will go!  Use me, I’ll do it!  Whatever you want…THAT’s what I want too!!  JUST TELL ME WHAT THAT IS!”  Here I am…”big 40 year old kid” riding along…

It was then on the trail I actually said OUT LOUD, “God, what do YOU want from me?”

I didn’t say it angrily or anything…just sort of frustrated like everyone is going off on these exciting journeys and I’m the one left behind to watch them go and wave goodbye to them!! “Safe travels!  Send me a post card!  I will be here waiting so when you get back you can tell me all about your adventures with everything wonderful God is doing through you…and I will tell you about the great pile of laundry I got to scale and how I actually put on make up and did my hair once or twice!!”

I know what you’re thinking.  I’m exaggerating things a bit… and you’re right…Honestly…I never REALLY do my hair! 😉

Don’t worry…this blog is actually going somewhere, I promise.  You’ve hung in there…good job!  😉  This morning at spin class the teacher played a song and a part of the lyrics caught my attention.  They were “Whataya want from me?”  (I think it’s Adam Lambert singing it or something…but that’s not the point).  Not knowing what the song was about, I heard the question I had asked God.  “What do you want from me??” Then the lyrics went on to say, “Just don’t give up.  I’m working it out.  Please don’t give in.  I won’t let you down…”  There in spin class, it was as if God interrupted my thoughts to say, “Tami, I heard your question on Sunday.  Don’t give up.  I’m working it out.  Don’t give in.  I won’t let you down.  You’re on the right path I’ve got you on…just hang on because I’ve got something great ahead!”  I love when God does that!

Then I was reminded of something God had spoken to me on the bike ride.  At one point, I had stopped for a water break and to rest, and God said to me, “look at the time!!  Quick!”  Quickly, I looked at my phone clock and it said 10:23.  Instantly I heard Him say “Hebrews 10:23”.  There on the trail I looked it up on my Bible app!  😉  It said, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess…for HE who promised is faithful.”  God is funny and I had to chuckle to myself because at times, Daisy and I swerve as we pass people (fun to see their nervous faces!) and I have to straighten her out again!

God sees our hopes and dreams.  He sees our hearts.  He wants us to hold on.  To Trust Him.  To not quit.  We may swerve in our faith sometimes, but we straighten out again!  Our hope is in Him, and He is faithful.  Why?  Because He loves us so!!!