As a mother of three, every so often from somewhere in my house I will hear a CRASH of some kind.  I have learned that this is normal.  Either something breakable has been knocked over, someone has slipped and fallen (probably from climbing furniture or doing something I don’t even want to know about), or one of them has run into a wall from not looking where they were going.  My kids run into walls a lot…I’m hoping that’s normal. 😉  Anyway…

More often than not, the crash will be followed by an “I’m okay!” shouted from another room in the house.  It’s a sign to me:  1)  not to panic, and 2)  not to come and find out what they’ve been up to.  😉   But, I appreciate it all the same.

If you’ve read my last few blogs you know what a faith-building season we’ve been in the past six months or so.  I know we all go through those…I guess we were just “due” for one. 😉  They are like training grounds of faith.  But, the other day, I was feeling overwhelmed by it all and I just collapsed on my bed in utter tiredness, frustration, and disappointment.  “God, when is this season going to be over???  This is too much!!!”  This was followed by some whining and complaining and it was spiraling downward fast.

Suddenly, and I don’t know why other than it must have been God, I remembered Hebrews 12:1-2.  It says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith…”

And here I was lying face down on my bed!   Nice.  But suddenly I felt as if this “great cloud of witnesses” (those in heaven who have died and gone before, who are up there cheering me on) were watching me!  Yikes!  How embarrassing!!!  Can they see me?  I hope they are missing this dramatic scene!  They are probably up there watching and waiting to see what I will do.  Is my son, Kael, watching me from heaven?  I don’t  know.  But if he is, I don’t want him to see me like THIS!  Are my grandparents watching?  Bob and Cherie? Pastors and friends who have gone before…if they ARE watching me now, they are probably having quite a conversation…maybe shaking their heads a little…and probably sending more prayers to the throne room on my behalf! 🙂  Not only that, but I’m certainly not running with any kind of perseverance…and honestly, my eyes may have shifted a little off of Jesus. 😦

Sigh.

A GREAT cloud of witnesses.  Oh man…

But something started to spring up a little bit inside of me.  If they ARE watching me, and cheering me on, I better let them know I’m okay.  They are probably still waiting for me to move.  I’m not kidding you when I tell you that still face down on my bed, I gave a thumbs up toward the ceiling and said out loud (just like my kids do), “I’M OKAY!!”

I could feel their relief! 😉

I sat up then, got to my feet, and decided to keep going. You fall off a horse, you get back on, right?  I was knocked over, but not defeated.  God’s got this.  Why am I worried anyway?  The One who SPOKE creation into existence has got me in the palm of His mighty hand.  I’ve got a great cloud of witnesses cheering me on up there and an incredible God who loves me and cares for me.

I’m okay!  🙂

So I’ve been into running lately.  No, no, no…not training for a marathon!  I didn’t mean to try to impress you with that statement or anything.  This is just running to burn fat…nothing exciting at all.  I run like a grandma….does that help?  It’s really just so that I can eat more chocolate…no huge ambitions here.  But I got this neat little app on my phone that allows me to do “interval running” to the music of my choice…along with a “fitness trainer” who says things to encourage me along the way!  Her name is “Holly”. 🙂  She tells me things like “your rockin’ this workout”, “you’re doing great, buddy!” (that’s her special nickname for me…”buddy”). She had me believing her sincerity too, until the other day she told me I was her “favorite running buddy”.  Hmmm…do you think she says that to ALL her workout buddies or just me?  I have to wonder…and here I thought I was special! 😉

There are several things along my run that distract me from the discomfort of running. My favorite has been this cute little roadrunner that I see up the street from where I live.  Now, my Dad is an avid birder and he says this is a “famous” roadrunner.  People in the Bay Area will head to my street just to see this roadrunner because it’s so rare!  Who knew?!? Try to control your jealousy everyone!  Some believe it’s the only one in this area because roadrunners are not native here.  So it’s special…and I guess I feel a little honored now when I get to see this bird on my morning runs.  Please don’t think that I’m crazy, but thinking myself clever, I cheerfully said to it the other morning, “Hey, we’re both road runners!”  😉  We share a bond now.  I think if birds could roll their eyes, this one would have.

This blog has a point…really.  Just keep reading…

The other morning, I was running along as usual and I asked God if he would let me see the roadrunner.  I don’t know why.  Maybe because we bonded the previous morning! 😉  Maybe I had more to say to it!!!  Ha! Ha!  Well, I didn’t see it where I usually see it and I just kept running.  Holly said I had to.

I decided to take a different turn and go down a street I hadn’t run along before.  It was this tucked away cul de sac and I only chose it because it was FLAT and involved NO HILLS to run up!  I know…I’m such a die hard!! 😉  As I was making my way toward the end of that street, I was suddenly startled by something HUGE coming toward me from the bushes in the front yard to my peripheral left!  Now let me just say that brains (especially mine) are funny at times…especially in moments of surprise and panic.  For some reason, mine told me it was a little person coming at me!! I pictured a dwarf for some odd reason!  (Go ahead and pause here to laugh…it’s okay…)  Mike even laughed at me when I told him this initial thought that I had, and teasingly told me “Gimli is alive!” (If you have seen Lord of the Rings you will find his statement extremely funny.  Mike sure did!!).

Anyway, back to the story:  I jumped off the sidewalk only to find that it was something I had not expected to see along this street!!  It was a huge PEACOCK!!!! I promise I’m not even making this up!!  It sounds ridiculous, right?!!  It’s feathers were fanning out and it was enormous!  Peacocks are HUGE!!!  Especially when they are a couple feet away and jump out at you from the bushes!  One could even say “dwarf-size”!  THEN it jumped onto the fence!!  Well if the first “dwarf peacock thing” didn’t freak me out enough the first time, the JUMP  up to the fence did the trick!!   I jumped back again, but this time I did so while glancing around me to see if anyone else was seeing this!!  No one was there.  So, I did what anyone else in my situation would do….I took a picture of it with my phone (once I finished untangling it from my headphones, armband, and me hitting all the wrong phone apps!) I didn’t know if this bird was going to turn on me and attack, so I was keeping my eye on it while trying to get my camera app up.

I found out later from a neighbor walking her dogs that peacocks do indeed live on this particular street. I did not know that.  Now I do.  🙂  Better a peacock than a dwarf, I guess!!

Believe it or not, I felt like God was speaking to me that morning.  Here I was asking to see a little roadrunner, and God is like, “Oh yeah?  How about a peacock?!?  You’re asking too small, Tami.  I’m going to bless you beyond what you are expecting.”  God is like that…and not just for me or my family…but for ALL of us!!  We’re asking for roadrunners, and God wants to give us peacocks!  See?  He’s generous and He’s fun, and He loves us!!

This season has been a tough one.  We’ve been believing God for answers to prayers.  Mike’s been without a job since January and we found out at the end of June that our landlord wants to sell the house.  We’re packing up boxes and don’t yet know where we’re moving to.  Adventure is out there!!  😉  Our car engine light came on, our washing machine broke…everything seems to be happening at once.  That’s okay.  We know God’s got this and we know He’s at work.  This just makes for a better testimony of His goodness!  This is the perfect position to be in to see the miraculous!  It’s been a season of learning to have faith when our circumstances say otherwise…and as hard as that is…we know it’s a good thing.  BUT…not only does God love to provide, He LOVES to BLESS!  That’s why this peacock was so important!!  I knew what God was saying to me that morning.  I left that peacock encouraged and excited for what God has ahead for us!  I also came away with a little smile for God does, indeed, have a funny sense of humor.

1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.”  Thank you, Lord, that you MORE than provide…you abundantly BLESS us when we trust in You!

Did I really just burn my toast??  REALLY???  Yep.  There it was all sad and charred looking up at me as if to say, “I’m the cherry on top of your day today, Tami!  How do you like ME?!!” I wasn’t really surprised though.   It was a day!  I pulled my hot burnt slice of cinnamon raisin bread out of the toaster and just looked at it.  What was supposed to be a comfort food tonight with my peppermint tea, did anything but comfort me!  So, a NORMAL person would toast a NEW slice, and watch it so it didn’t burn the second time.  Now, don’t think I’ve lost my good sense… but I actually felt kind of sorry for it.  😦  I know.  But I did.  (Wow…that DOES sound strange when I read it back again).  It just looked so fried and used up…I think I actually saw a little bit of myself in that piece of toast. Is that weird?  Please don’t answer that. 🙂  It reminded me of myself today…feeling a little burnt out from this unbelievably tough season we are facing.  “I’m that piece of toast!”

I decided to eat the toast anyway.  Remember I felt sorry for it…cause you know, toast has feelings! 😉

Have you ever felt fried?  Done?  Ready for the next chapter of your story to begin?

I’ll spare you the details of the CRAZINESS that’s going on right now (mainly because I’m going to save that for another blog when I have the amazing ENDING to this wild adventure story to share)!  But trust me, it’s going to be a great story…a page turner, an edge of your seat kind of a story!  You won’t believe the timing of everything!  But its still being written, so you’ll have to be patient!  😉  The good thing is, I know we’re close to being on the other side of this season because I can feel God getting us ready for something big and something wonderful.  He’s like that.  He always sweeps in with an awesome ending when we trust Him to do so.  He also takes His sweet time….yup.

So why am I feeling like burnt toast if I’m trusting God?  Because sometimes, trusting God feels super hard…especially when your circumstances don’t make any sense at all.  “God, we’re supposed to go THIS way…so why are we turning to go THAT way?” That’s the moment when God tells us to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7).  He’s BIG into FAITH!  That I know.  I like to think of it like building “faith muscles”.  Just when you get comfortable with your level of faith (like weight lifting), He adds more onto it to cause you to become stronger.  Those who lift weights know that when more pounds are added, it’s a little tougher and a little uncomfortable.  But the end result is that you become stronger!  So, it’s a good thing.  But it’s still hard sometimes. If you don’t refresh yourself in Jesus, you will feel like burnt toast.  Believe me, I know!

Honestly, He really should have been my first choice for comfort tonight…not the tea and not the toast. 🙂  He’s the one I’m pressing into tonight.

James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it a sheer GIFT, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  You know that under pressure, your FAITH-life is FORCED into the open and shows its true colors.  So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

Burnt toast and faith muscles.  🙂