I know I’m not the only one who faces struggles in life.  Everyone does.  Lately we’ve been in another struggle concerning my hubby’s job.  He was laid off in June when the startup company he was working for did not get enough funding to keep him on.  So here we are back in the “job search thing” again.  He’s been amazing in this whole thing, though, and as stressful as it can be at times, he is SO steadfast and strong and I am just in awe of him!  Not only is he searching and doing everything he can to land a new job, but he is so strong in his faith!  He’s human, so he does get frustrated at times with it all…but he’s so good about springing back up with hope and faith.  I, however, have a tougher time with the springing thing! 🙂  As his wife, I honestly feel helpless.  I can’t make the new job happen for him and I wish I could do SOMETHING…ANYTHING!  I wish I could control this whole situation and make the perfect job come his way!  He sends his resumes out continually…and I’m not a business person,  so it’s hard for me to understand how the business world can be so impersonal at times…so I struggle with that too.  I’ve also never been good at waiting.  Yet here we are again…waiting.  Hubby…we should get t-shirts made that say….”We love to wait!” 😉  NOT!

God is into waiting though.  He’s BIG into waiting.

So, the other afternoon I came home from work and went on a run.  I told God, “I feel like You’re far away.  I feel like You used to be close, and now you’re not anymore.  Where are you, God and why are we in this same boat AGAIN??  Why can’t I feel you?  Why does my hubby have to go through this trial again?  It’s not fair.  He’s so faithful to You and he would be such an amazing find for any company!  What on earth, God?  When is our breakthrough going to happen?  Why are You so quiet?  Where in the world are You?  Granted, You love Mike…but do You even still like me…let alone LOVE me???”

Though my running was going UP a hill…my praying was going DOWNhill fast!!

Please tell me you’ve prayed mighty faith-filled prayers like this too!!! 😉  I feel silly that I’m even writing all of this…but I feel like God wants me to share snapshots of my walk with Him so that it might encourage others.  So here you have it!

I ran for a while after this prayer, and it was during my “cool down walk” that it happened.  Maybe because as I was physically cooling down…I was emotionally cooling down too!!  But I suddenly heard God speak to my heart…actually it was more like he spoke to my FACE because the only way I can describe what I felt was that He spoke it right in front of me.  He spoke these two words: “I’m CLOSE.”  I knew instantly it was Him.  It was as if He spoke it right into my ear.  I know how He speaks to me…suddenly and when I least expect it.  He was telling me that like a father or a good friend, He was close…and in that moment, I knew He was not far away at all.  His words felt fatherly and filled me with such reassurance.  He WAS here!  He HAD heard me!   He was CLOSE to me…SO close that His voice was literally in my face!!  In that tiny, little moment, I knew I was hugely important to Him…and that He had a plan and that He liked me…and that He even LOVED me.  I already knew He loved Mike!! 🙂  A job for Mike will come.

All of that in two simple words! 🙂

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I think God is waiting for us to be real with him in our prayers.  God loves it when we are just honest with Him.  He knows our stuff anyway, so it’s not like it’s going to be a big surprise to Him! I started my run heavy with worry, doubt and fear…but I came home feeling light…encouraged and full of hope. The reality is, Mike will find a job and this season will be past.  I know that.  But how quickly I forget that He’s near and that He’s in control and that we don’t need to worry.

Before going to bed, I happened to come across a verse in the Bible that said “As a bridegroom is happy in his bride, so your God is happy with you.” (Isaiah 62:5) I needed to hear that…that God was happy with me.  I think I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

I can hardly wait to blog about the rest of this story when that job comes and we are on the other side of this climb!  I have a feeling it’s going to be a great part 2!!  He’s close to you too and your part 2 is coming as well!!

God is close! 🙂