I had a dream a few nights ago that I was shopping with a friend and in one arm was a shopping bag and in the other arm was a weight…a barbell! Apparently, in my dream, I wanted to strengthen my arms while I shopped so I was toting around a barbell! I woke up thinking, “Why in the world would I be carrying around a weight while shopping? As if!” But I couldn’t help thinking about my weight-carrying dream…

Yesterday morning, I went on a run. I normally love Saturday morning runs, but I was having a tougher time running against the strong wind that pushed against me that morning. I call these “resistance runs” and they are not fun. More than that though, I think there was an inner struggle I was dealing with, and it took a morning run away from all distractions for me to realize it. It wasn’t until after the first mile that I began to see it.

I talk to God a lot when I run, so I began… “God, I feel heavy-hearted…like I’m carrying around the weight of the world.” A few tears began to sting my eyes at those words, and it became worse as the wind picked up. I had to stop running, to walk and dry the tears so I could see the path in front of me. “I don’t want to cry, God…not now…not on a run.” But I could feel the floodgates beginning to burst. “Oh no,” I thought. Thoughts of everything going on in the world from stuff happening in our government, to thoughts of Covid 19, to everyone in the world who is struggling during this pandemic. There were thoughts of my own daily struggle with the pressures of keeping my class of kindergarteners engaged in distance learning, while making sure my own three kids are doing okay with their struggle to make sense of everything going on. More and more thoughts kept coming and I realized how very much I’d been carrying! Feeling hopeless, I said out loud, “It’s all too much, God…I’m overwhelmed by it all…I can’t carry all of this!” More tears. This was not the normal Saturday run I was used to.

BUT…this part is really cool! 🙂 God is so loving. SO LOVING. Instantly He was right there and He spoke so clearly to my heart as if He’d been waiting for this moment. He LOVES when we pour out our hearts to Him. “Give Me all your cares and worries, because I love you, Tami.” (1 Peter 5:7). I knew in that moment exactly what He was telling me. God did not intend for me to carry all of this. That part was all me.

One, by one, I ran-walked (because I had to continually dry tears with my one very damp kleenex) and I gave Him each thing that was heavy on my heart. I literally listed each one of them, and as I did, it was as if I was unstrapping it from my body, and laying it before him in a huge messy heap! I could feel His smile and His incredible love for me as I did. All the heartbreak over the world’s issues, to my own daily struggles, including every pressure I had put on myself to be the mom, wife, daughter, teacher, friend that everyone needed. There they all were in on giant pile at His feet. When I was done, I felt lighter. I picked up the pace and I began to run again…faster now this time. It seemed I was no longer carrying the weight of the world. 🙂

The dream about the weight came to mind. How funny! God knew. Are you heavy hearted today? Do you feel like you’re carrying a weight around when you should be enjoying life? If so, I’d like to encourage you to give God your cares. He loves you so much.

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross…”