My jeans are too tight.  Uncomfortably tight.  I was trying to spend time with the Lord this morning and they were cutting into my tummy when I was sitting on the floor!  It was super distracting!!  😉  But before you kindly suggest that I may have accidentally shrunk them in the dryer (so kind of you though!),  we both know the ugly truth…I’ve gained weight…ergh!!!    BUT… in my defense, there’s just been so many fun events with great food, some delicious stress-eating, some “hey kids, let’s bake cookies!” eating…and so it wasn’t completely MY fault!!!  I was simply being a fun-loving socialite who loves to do things with her kids!!!   Ha!  Ha!  Are you rolling your eyes at me?  If not, you should!

And now I’m left with what feels like “the bill” for those good times…and my jeans are telling me it’s time to pay up!  😉  The party is over.

So, with that being said, the sad realization has hit me that now it’s time to “up my game”.  That means harder workouts.  After all, I’m not twenty anymore!  (Another sad realization…but whatever?!  Might as well hit me while I’m down!)  It’s time to watch the calories too.  That means don’t eat anything you enjoy, Tami!

Basically,  it’s time to SUFFER a little. 😉  Yep.  Suffer.

Yay…. ;(

So I’ve started running in the mornings…which I hate (sorry runner friends, who love to run!)  I hate running!!  There I said it again.  It feels like suffering for my entire body!!!   I’m barely running two miles this first week and it feels like fifty!!!  I’m watching caterpillars going faster than me.  Everything in me hurts.  My face turns purple.  I think I even heard a little unintentional cry-whimper escape my lips this morning!  I think my body may actually be CRYING???  Did I mention I hate running?!?  But, if I want to sit comfortably in my jeans ever again in this lifetime….I know I must suffer. 😉  Therefore, I will run.

I want this t-shirt! 😉

Our lives have been a little uncomfortable lately…just like my jeans.  My dedicated and hard-working hubby is still in the job-hunting “boat”.  Prayers are appreciated!  🙂  It’s been a long voyage (especially for him), and we are SO done with this season of waiting!!!  It feels like dreams have been put on hold once again, and that this voyage is taking forever!!    This boat is not comfortable… but we’ve been in it before.  The good thing is, we DO have each other, and God is with us!  We also know the routine!  Yay for us!  If there is ONE thing we have learned through the trials we have faced, it is that it is better just to weather the storm.  We have learned to hang on when letting go sounds like the best choice.  We know eventually, the storm will end, and both Mike and I want to be able to say, “we never let go.  We trusted God even in the toughest moment.”  We know He’s with us, loving us the entire way, and taking care of us!

BUT…in the meantime, it feels tight…and it’s uncomfortable.  It’s suffering a little bit.

Good things are ahead though!  We may have to suffer a little bit, but there will be  a day that we stand and look back on all that God taught us during this storm.  We will even thank Him for allowing us to go through it!  How crazy is that?!  😉  It’s true!  God is faithful.  His promises are true.  We’re not going to doubt in the dark what we’ve learned in the light, no way!  No matter the circumstances, God loves us and is FOR us.  It’s going to be good…you’ll see.  We just have to get through it.

Just like that AWFUL running thing!  Yuck!

Hey!  Guess what my bible verse of the day was on my phone today?  No kidding!  It was Romans 8:18.  “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Wow!!  Perfect!!

God’s timing is funny sometimes…cause I just sat down at my computer to write about tight jeans…

I was in college at the time, and driving back to my apartment after work one evening. Just me in the car listening to music on Highway 17 in Santa Cruz.  This may sound strange to some, but all of a sudden I felt as if someone were sitting next to me…right there in the passenger seat of the car!  I looked and saw no one, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t alone.  I was NOT creeped out or anything because I knew instantly WHO it was…I knew it was Jesus.  For some reason, just out of the blue, He was making His presence known to me…there in the car…to ME!  I wasn’t even doing anything great…just driving home from work!!  At the time, I felt like He was reminding me that even though I don’t see him with my eyes, He’s still there…and He’s with me wherever I go.  I never have to feel alone.  That moment only lasted a couple of  minutes.  It was truly wonderful, and I’ve never forgotten it.

I don’t tell many people that story because it sounds unusual…and people might think I’m strange…but wait!  I guess after my last few blog posts, I don’t think I have to worry about that anymore!!  😉  Yay!!

There have been moments in my life since then where I felt like God wasn’t there…like He left me alone.  One such time was after the death of our first born son.  Laying in the hospital bed, consumed with the pain and grief of losing my baby at 37 1/2 weeks, I felt as if I was covered by a dark cloud and that God had left earth…or more specifically that He had left ME!  But in the quiet of that hospital room, I suddenly felt a hand gently sweeping my bangs off my forehead.  Someone was stroking my head in a very gentle way.  I looked up and no one was there.  It was so brief, but I KNOW it happened.  Was that Jesus once again?  Was He still with me?  Even NOW?  Amidst the anguish in my heart, and the angry questions in my head…He was still there?   I had a long road of recovery ahead of me, especially when it came to my faith…but two things I now knew…

I was not alone…

and Jesus loved me.

I love Deuteronomy 31:8!  It says, “The Lord HIMSELF goes before you and will be with you;  He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid.  Do not be discouraged.”

If we know Jesus…if we’ve truly invited Him into our deepest of hearts….then we are never alone in this world.  His promise is to be with us wherever we go.  I’ve never doubted that again.  I’ve learned that even in times where I may FEEL distant from Him…He’s still as close as a whisper.  Our circumstances do not dictate where He is.  We are in a trial right now, but we are trusting God completely, and  we  KNOW that He’s with us.  In fact, we’ve never felt Him more strong than we have now!   Our circumstances may try to say God has left…but His WORD says that He has not, and His word is so beautifully true!

If you are reading this today, and if you are feeling like Jesus has left you alone…I have to tell you that you’re mistaken.  Take it from me!!  It’s a lie from the enemy.  He’s never left you…not ever!  He’s the one who made you and has loved you your entire life.  If you don’t know His love, and you want to, He’s right there waiting for you to ask Him to come into your heart.  I believe He’s gently sweeping your hair back and calling you by name.

“Jesus…come into my life…I don’t ever want to be alone again.”

Okay, seriously???  Again?  You’ve GOT to be kidding me!  Every night around 10:30 our phone rings and it’s a scam artist who tells us that “hackers” are getting info from our computer!  Have you had that call yet?  I’m guessing you have.  I’ve had those calls in the past, but they have been in the daytime.  Now, let’s just pause for a second because I can feel your stress level rising, so please just know I’ve given them NOTHING…no social security number, no bank info, nothing at all…not even the time of day.

So NOW they are trying to pull their scam at nighttime…a half hour into my REM sleep!  I can’t begin to describe how annoying this is!!  It’s hard to fall back to sleep again!  When the phone rings, they’ve got me because I HAVE to pick up or my kids will wake up from the loud ringing!!  GRRRR… It’s been almost every night for a little over a week!  I’m getting that Mama Grizzly Bear feeling!

So yesterday, I came up with a plan!  Keep in mind, I’m BEYOND irritated that they’ve been waking us up, and I want REVENGE!!  Yes, I know…and you thought I was this sweet, kind person.  Well…POP!!  There went your bubble! 😉  Unless you’re calling me that late to tell me I won some kind of “dark chocolate for a lifetime” award, no one messes with my sleep, harasses my family at night and gets away with it!

So at 10:34 last night, after being asleep for about 30 minutes…it happened.  The phone rang…only this time I JUMPED to my feet ready for action!  And it began…

“Hello?” I feigned sweetness.  This was going to be good!

There was the voice…you know the one.  It sounds like it’s calling you from an underground tunnel, across the ocean, and a zillion miles away.  This time it was a woman with a thick accent.  She was alerting me to the hackers again!  I had to chuckle to myself a little because the whole thing was just so ridiculous from the computer hacker story, to the timing of the calls at night, to the weird sound of the call itself, to her fake urgency and concern for me.  This time, however, I cut her off.

“Well, let’s pray.”  I said. (Yeah, I know.  I actually said that!)

Because of the delay she said a few more words and then stopped.  “What ma’am?”

“Can I just stop you here a second because I’d like to pray.”

It was silent for a second and she said, “Well, yes, you should pray for your computer!” Okay, that was actually funny on her part…I’ll give her THAT!  How thoughtful of her, right?  To suggest prayer for MY COMPUTER from these mischievous hackers!! 😉  I was loving this!  She then said we should pray after we fixed the problem first.  Yeah…good one!

“No, actually I’d like to pray for you and I’d like to invite Jesus into this phone call.”  Then with that, I interrupted her and began to pray.  Now, I have to say, although I was praying, my heart was not in it…at all!  I was MAD at this woman!!!  How dare she try to scam me?!  My prayer was meant to annoy her and that was it.  I wanted her to think I was so irritating she’d hang up on me and never call back.  Well…guess what?  She hung on!!! So I kept praying.  She still hung on (when was she going to give up??) I prayed until I couldn’t think of anything else to pray…and I was more annoyed than ever!  Then since she was still waiting I told her that I was going to continue to pray for her but that she needed to stop calling because I didn’t’ believe a word she was saying.

There.

I told HER!  

BUT I was the one that hung up then.

I was HOPING to feel good after that.  Satisfied. You know?   I was the victim, after all…the one who was RIGHT….and she was wrong.  I wanted to end this harassment once and for all with the mention of God and prayer…only something went terribly wrong.  Something I had NOT figured into my plan at all…and I felt so horrible inside…and it wasn’t her fault…it was mine.

I hung up the phone and God was there instantly.  Oh oh.  I didn’t feel like He was pleased with what I had done.  He was super quick to show me how my use of prayer and even His NAME was used as a weapon, as a means to ANNOY this woman…not as a witness to her of His incredible love for her.  I was “praying words”…but those weren’t heartfelt prayers…not at all.  I felt horrible…and the worst thing was…  I had just used my best friend.  I’d used Jesus.  WHO DOES THAT???  Me, apparently.  My heart for this woman was NOT love and the whole thing was just a scam on my part…

😦   I felt like the scam artist.  Tami…out to scam the scammers!!!

Cue the sad music.  An icky feeling sat heavy in the pit of my stomach.  I tried to sleep but I couldn’t.

Now…this is where it gets good.   God is loving.  He doesn’t just show us our wrongs and leave us hanging with our guilt and yuckiness.  He ALWAYS shows us the way to make things right.  He just loves us that much!  I felt like a naughty kid.  Very much awake from the yucky call and my guilty conscience, I knew what I had to do.  I asked God to forgive me, and I spent the next hour praying heartfelt prayers for this woman’s salvation.  Suddenly I began to see her through God’s eyes.  She needs Jesus just as much as we all do.  Who knows what her life has been like.  Here was an opportunity for me to tell her about Jesus and I muffed it up.  The least I could do was actually pray for her FOR REAL this time.  So I did…heartfelt and sincere this time…and before I knew it, my peaceful sleep had returned. 🙂

I prayed for her again this morning.  Just to make the devil mad.  I’m like that sometimes.  What he plans for evil, I like Jesus to take and turn around for good! 😉

You know, I was thinking… if she calls back again tonight (and I will surely be shocked if she does), I’m going to try to do it right this time.  As much as I don’t want her calling me…this time, however, I’m going to tell her about Jesus.  I’m going to tell her how much He loves her…and I’m going to tell her from a loving heart.  I’m going to ask her if she would like to invite Him to come into her life.  Why not?  I’ve got nothing to lose and she’s got everything to gain in Jesus.  She won’t leave with any personal info from me…but she may leave the call with Jesus in her heart!   I want her to know that He can set her free. I want her to know that I forgive her.  Then I will kindly (very kindly) say goodbye and hang up.  I will then sleep in peaceful slumber! 😉

Oh!  Guess what Bible “verse of the day” came to my phone today!  Matthew 5:16.  “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

How perfect. 🙂

There is a reason I chose “the heart of the songbird” for the title of my blog. When I think of a songbird, I think of a creature who is not very impressive in stature or appearance, but who takes great delight in singing out something beautiful for all to hear! The creature is small…but it’s song is large!  It’s as if there’s so much HEART in it’s little song!  If something so small has the bravery to open itself up to the world and sing out something sweet…why can’t I? 🙂 I want to “sing out” things that will encourage others in their walk with (or toward) the God of the Universe…the One who not only made them…but loves them beyond anything or anyone else ever could!  So if God is speaking something encouraging to my heart…why not share it?  It might just be what someone else needs to hear!

A few years back, I was driving in my car on a familiar road at night…not thinking about too much, when I heard the Lord speak to my heart.  He said, “Tami…open your mouth.”  Ummm….what?  I’m SO NOT kidding when I tell you that I actually parted my lips and opened my mouth a little…I don’t know what I was expecting…;)  But I KNEW it was God.

“Tami…open your mouth.”  I began to realize what the Lord was saying to me.  He was encouraging me to “open my mouth” with others and share the things He’s put on my heart to share.  I’m not quick to vulnerability…but I’ve found that more often than not, others are in the same boat as I am with stuff, and what God pours into me…He wants me to pour into others.  Deep….I know! 😉

So here’s me today…”opening my mouth” with good news!  Here it is:  God is for us! 🙂

He loves us.  Sounds simple, right?  But do we BELIEVE it?  He’s on our side.  His DESIRE is that we are loved by Him, and that we love HIM!  He wants us to be fulfilled, full of joy and living an abundant life.  He has amazing, ADVENTUROUS and exciting plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11).  He is NOT into boring!!  Essentially…God is for us.  We may say we believe all this with our mouths…but do we believe it in our heart…REALLY believe it…deep down…past the voices of doubt that say God won’t come through…past our hurts and past our present circumstances?  My goal today is to let it sink in…deep.

God is FOR me.  God is for you.  I like to say, “He’s got this!” 😉

Romans 8:31 says, “If God is for us, who can ever be against us?”

Psalm 56:4 says, “I praise God for what He has promised.  I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?  What can mere mortals do to me?”  I love that!!

Psalm 121:1 says, “I look up to the mountains…does my help come from there?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!”  Cool, huh?! 😉

We may not see it, we may not feel it, it may have to work it’s way past some “stuff” to sink into our hearts…but it’s the truth.  Let it sink in today.

There.  I opened my mouth! 😉  Have a blessed day!

Sometimes when I sit down to blog, I haven’t the faintest clue what I’m going to write about.  There is almost a swirling of emotions and thoughts and words that I feel like God is speaking to my heart…things I want to say to encourage others…yet sometimes it’s actually ME who needs the encouragement!  Today is one of those days.  I feel like all these swirlings are like jigsaw puzzle pieces in my head, and if I simply lay them all down in sections one at a time they will start to form a picture…the right picture that God wants me to see today.  It’s a good thing I love jigsaw puzzles!! 😉

The first section of “puzzle” I’m putting down is that our family is in a season of “waiting” as my hubby is looking for a job.  His boss sold the company he worked for and so his last day was Jan. 2.  Since then, he’s been doing the whole job-hunt, resume touching up, interviewing, and waiting thing!  If you’ve ever been in THAT boat, I’m sure you can relate and you know how hard it can be!  We are trusting God to bring something wonderful…but at times I admit I get scared wondering how long we are going to be in “this boat”.  But people say it’s all “who you know” in finding a job…and we KNOW Jesus!! 😉  He’s absolutely got this!  I refuse to allow fear any foothold inside my door!

Phew!! That was a big section of puzzle!

Then there’s the puzzle section where we are taking what we know to be true…God’s word…our “sword in the spirit” and we are standing strong…for the most part.  We have tough moments though…I won’t lie.  When we begin to focus on our fears, it takes our eyes off of Jesus, and we start to sink. Faith and trust and standing against discouragement from the enemy are no easy tasks.  It’s like a battle sometimes, because it’s easier to surrender to fear than stand in faith believing that when God’s word says He will bless you…He will!  We are no different that all those Bible people who had to do the same.  I often think of Joseph in that prison…after God told Him in dreams that He would do great things…and yet here he was, falsely accused and in prison!  But God brought him out!  There was a wait involved for him.  I know what God has for Mike and for us is worth the wait…so I’m determined to stand my ground.  When I get knocked over…I may cry and drag my feet a little…but eventually I get back up! 😉

But even soldiers in battle get tired and need a rest. Lately, I’ve felt tired of standing and trusting God when I don’t see anything happening…and God saw that because He gave me another big chunk of the puzzle this morning in a verse.  Romans 8:26 says, “The moment we get tired of waiting, God’s spirit is right alongside helping us along.”  Thank you, Lord, for seeing my heart.  Thank you for helping me along today.”  Oh how good He is and how He loves us!!

There is one other section of the puzzle I’ve been working on lately…and I just got it to fit with the rest of the puzzle.  It’s this:  It’s not easy trusting God when you can’t see anything happening.  BUT…I know that He is faithful and has a good plan…a beautiful plan…a PERFECT plan…and I CHOOSE to trust Him even when it’s “hard” because He’s done so much for us in the past!  We have seen God get us through rougher waters than these…MUCH rougher, and we have lived to tell of it!  We’ve seen His faithfulness time and time again…so really, why should I worry one iota??  All I need to do is look back down the road we’ve walked on and see all the many times He’s been faithful and has gotten us to safety. That renews my hope in a HUGE way!  He’s simply stretching our “faith muscles” and I’m grateful for it.  It makes us stronger.

So…puzzle pieces…my puzzle is coming together nicely today.  I feel like the swirling in my head is calming now and I am seeing a beautiful picture.  Maybe it’s a boat on tranquil waters, or a meadow scene with flowers, birds chirping and buzzing beetles! 😉  It’s peaceful anyway.

I had a feeling this blog was for me. 🙂

Not too long ago I had a dream that I was running in a race.  I was struggling, however, because strapped onto my back was a HEAVY black backpack.  As I ran, the pack was so heavy it would pull my shirt back so that the shirt neckline was sort of chocking me!  I kept tugging my shirt in the front to give it some slack, only to have to repeat the process every few minutes.  I was carrying in my hand a way-too-large water bottle as well…and needless to say I was getting frustrated and tired.

I saw a stream up ahead and stopped there to take a break and “readjust” everything I was carrying.  Then it dawned on me, “what’s in this pack anyway?  Why am I even carrying this with me?  Why lug a gigantic water bottle when there’s a stream to drink from along the way?”  I suddenly knew the pack contained nothing important at all and so I took it off and set it down.  I planned to abandon it there and keep racing…and that’s when I woke up.  I admit, I was bummed because I kind of wanted to see myself do well! 😉

I’m not a “runner” by any means…I don’t enjoy it unless I’m running on a court to make a basket… or running after my kids in a game of chase!  I will sometimes run at the gym…but only to burn calories so I can fit in my clothes! 😉  Inside, I’m whining and fussing and anxious to be done!!  Long distance running is SO NOT my thing!  But I do know many people who are runners (my own hubby being one of them) who have trained and run great distances…and I’m sure they would all agree that running a race with a heavy backpack strapped on is a bad idea!

A long distance runner on a remote desert highway.

Hebrews 12:1 says, “Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross…”

I’m just going to say it.  I often goof up on my race!  “Often” is probably not even the right word… “frequently” is more like it!  (Gasp!!  I’ve shocked you, haven’t I?!)  😉  While others seem to be racing on ahead…I’m busy strapping on heavy black backpacks full of unnecessary stuff! I’m toting around large bottles of warm “plastic bottle water” when God has provided cool, fresh water for me to drink along the way!

I knew God was speaking to me in that dream.  That darn pack was full of worry over the icky job situation my husband had to face every day, the worry over my kids fighting the flu, keeping up with my messy home, my daughter’s huge book report project, my own lack of energy, planning two kids birthday parties, the stress of keeping up with healthy dinners for my family…and just a million other little cares that when all crammed together in a backpack made for one VERY HEAVY load!  A load that I wasn’t allowing God to carry.  I’m so glad in the dream I found the stream.  I’m glad I took off the pack and laid it down.

I cried that morning.  A good cry…a surrender cry.  “God, I can’t carry all of this.  Even the little things feel heavy at this point!  It’s too much for me and it’s choking the life out of me.   So I’m laying it all down before You now and I’m going to run this race with joy because from now on I’m just going to trust you completely.  When new things feel like they are weighing me down, I’m going to ask for Your help and I’m not going to worry about them.  My eyes are fixed on YOU! :)”

I felt different after that.  Lighter.  I had no idea I’d even been carrying that load…but God knew.  He’s so generous, and He desires only GOOD things for us.  Always!

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”  1 Peter 5:7

When I was about 12 or 13 years old, my all time favorite music artist was a woman by the name of Karen Wheaten!  She was my Christian “idol” in a way…although I didn’t worship her…I DID however want to be like her in every way possible!!  I wanted her southern accent, I wanted to wear pretty dresses like her, I wanted beautiful hair like hers, and I wanted to sing to thousands of people just like her and have God touch people through the powerful songs she sang.  I wanted God to use me in the same way He used her!  She would travel the world and minister to millions…and I wanted to do that too!!!

So when she came to Oakland, California for a big Christian conference being held at some major hotel, you can guess how excited I was!  My Mom and I went together, even staying in the hotel together which was incredibly fun!  The conference was even more exciting and wonderful than I had ever imagined!  AND there was Karen…singing her heart out for Jesus and I was in awe!  I should mention here, that I had been taking voice lessons for several years at that time and was already singing mostly her songs to old people in convalescent homes!! 😉  They are a good audience to practice on because it’s hard for them to hear very well, and they also can’t escape very fast! 😉

Then it happened.  It was after one of the afternoon sessions at the conference that my Mom and I decided to head up to our room in the hotel.  We got in the elevator and do you know who got in after us?  Yep…Karen Wheaton!  Oh my gosh?!?!  I was so excited!!!  This was God blessing me…I mean, how else could this have happened?! The doors shut and my head started swimming fast with things I wanted to say…but the most AWFUL thing suddenly happened…my mouth would NOT open!  I think the shock of it all hit me so hard, I suddenly became very shy and star struck at being in the elevator with Karen Wheaton. Oh no!!!   I began to panic in my mind!  BUT…cue the superhero music as my mom suddenly rescued the day!!  She is VERY quick when it comes to me acting weird (no comment, please) so she figured out quick what was happening! After only a few seconds of painful silence, she did something I will forever love her for.  She began to speak to Karen Wheaton FOR me. 🙂  I’m so not kidding!

“Hi Karen, this is my daughter, Tami.”  She gestured to me, as if prompting me to say something. As Karen said hi to me, all I could do was smile weirdly back.  I was still speechless!  So my mom continued.  “She loves your music and sings many of your songs.”  I was hypnotized by how much Karen just sparkled with her sparkly jewelry, sparkly make-up and her sparkly dress.  She was even more beautiful up close!!! She said some nice things to me while I simply smiled dumbly back.  But my mom was on a roll!!  “She’s even won some trophy’s singing your songs, Karen!”  I felt like I was going numb and thought I might just pass out there in the elevator right in front of Karen Wheaton!!  They chatted on very naturally for a while longer while I just smiled on like a weird elevator statue (at least I THINK my face was smiling…I had sort of blanked out at that point and don’t remember much). The elevator finally came to our floor, we got out, said goodbye, the doors shut and that was that.

Did I feel bad that I was so shy in the elevator?  Nope!  I squealed when we got to our room!!!  I was BEYOND excited!!! All I could think was that I got to meet Karen Wheaton in an elevator ride!!!  Who cares that I didn’t speak a peep to her…she knows I exist and that I sing her music…that was enough for me!  For the rest of that conference and for that month really, I was floating on a very “sparkly” cloud!   Do you know that later on I wrote her a letter and she actually wrote me back?!?!  She still ministers in song to this day…and although I don’t follow her as closely as I did back then, I still remember that special  day that I met Karen Wheaton in the elevator. 🙂

With God, all things are possible!! 🙂  I knew He loved me.

Oh!  By the way, that last picture of me was at my first singing recital in about 7th or 8th grade…I was so nervous my sweaty hands sort of wet crinkled the front of my skirt!! 😉  I hit this huge long note that was way off key…it sounded horrible but everyone smiled just the same!  Oh, and Karen, if you ever read this…thank you for inspiring me to always trust God and to simply fall in love with Jesus!

I must have been about 9 or 10 years old when I found it.  It was like finding buried treasure in the garage!!  It was an old brown jumprope with wooden handles…probably belonging to my Dad or someone older back in their “younger days”!  But now it was mine! I tried jumping rope with it, but it was an adult size jumprope so that didn’t work out too well.  I played with it as best I could and eventually discarded it in pursuit of other backyard adventures.  It lost it’s thrill as quickly as I had found it.

Several days or maybe even weeks later I was climbing this low branch of one of our backyard pine trees when I was suddenly struck with an incredible idea.  I wonder if I could throw one end of that old brown jumprope over this tree limb and while hanging onto the handles…run down this little hill here and just fly!!!  It would be like a swing that I could hang onto.  With lightening fast speed, I reclaimed my abandoned treasure once again and put my plan into place.  It WAS AMAZING!!  It worked!  I’d hold onto the handles, run down the slope until there wasn’t any more earth beneath my feet, and just soar!!  It would pull me back again and with eager anticipation for my next flight, I would start over!  I had created this backyard bliss with just an old brown jumprope!

Then I noticed another tree next to the lawn that I could try!  Pulling down the jumprope, and running over to try out this new tree, I quickly began to swing from it like I had the other one.  Only this one was different in that it lacked the hill for speed, but I found I could fling my body up higher and even go a greater distance!  The whole thing was exhilarating and wonderful…wonderful that is, until something unexpected happened…something I had not planned for.

With one final take off, I was flying through the air…and my smile turned the other direction when I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was STILL soaring past the pull-back point!  I was holding both handles…but only one end was still connected to rope!  My handle had broken off and I was now flying high into the air!!  Yes, I know what you are thinking…that what goes up must come down!  And so I did.

I came crashing down onto the earth with such a THUD that it knocked the wind completely out my body (if you’ve ever had that happen, you know those strange sounds you make as you are trying to get air back in)!  Air regained, kind of sore and somewhat dazed…I stood to my feet just stunned.  “NOOOOO!”  That was it.  And just like that, my adventure was over.

I never “jumprope swung” again after that.  I don’t know if it was because I was scared to fall hard and get my wind knocked out again… or just that I’d lost my faith in wooden-handled jumpropes to hold me anymore…but whatever the reason, I’d never try again.

I was thinking of that yesterday morning.  I’d almost forgotten that memory…but God has a way of sometimes using past experiences to speak to us today.  I love that about Him!  So here it is:

I have to wonder to myself, how many adventures am I missing out on because I’m afraid of getting hurt, or because I’ve forgotten how to trust that God will protect me?  As a kid, I wasn’t afraid of anything…maybe just the dark.  Obviously not afraid of jumprope swinging!  😉 But somehow as I got older, I became more afraid.  I experienced other “falls” in life and so have become more guarded and unsure.  “Bad things have happened to me, God!!”  I will remind Him at times…but He’s also quick to remind me of ALL the GOOD things that have happened when I’ve chosen to trust Him as well. Do you know what?  Those FAR OUTWEIGH the bad.   There are a billion times more good than bad…so what’s stopping me?  Am I allowing fear to run the show here?  No…not anymore.  I’m choosing to trust God.

Lovingly, and tenderly…but without hesitation…God says not to fear.  He says that a lot…because we need to hear it a lot. He wants us to soar and feel the excitement of life with HIM!  Unafraid, and completely trusting in Him, I want to see where He takes me!  Someone get me a jumprope because I want to swing on THAT!  But unlike that old wooden-handled jumprope, I know God won’t break! 😉

“Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9