I had a rough week.  Sometimes life hits you hard and leaves you spinning, right?  That might even be from a song…hmmm…  Anyway, this was one of those weeks and that’s how I felt anyway when Friday FINALLY decided to show up and save me!  As much as I wanted to run home, put a blanket over my head and hide, I decided to do something else instead.  I put on my running shoes and decided to go for a real run!  I love running! I know, I know…years ago I wrote a blog about hating running…but what can I say?  I’m changed!! Ha! Ha!

It’s not the running or exercise itself that I love (who likes to exercise?!?) …it’s that running gives me the chance to think and to process without any interruptions.  No one stops to talk to you when you’re running.  🙂  I can take off my “mom hat”, my “teacher hat”, my “wife, daughter, friend, and co-worker hats” and just be me.  I can tune out the world, and tune into God.  Yep!  He and I have had many good chats when I’m running!  Plus, it let’s me eat more chocolate, which as we all know, is never a bad thing! 🙂

Anyway, here’s how Friday’s conversation with God went down:

“God, I totally get that you love the whole ‘walk by faith’ thing and all.  I know you want me to trust You to work things out when I don’t see what you’re doing.  We do this a lot you and I…yep!  You love doing this to me, having me wait, having me pray about it, having me trust You…we’ve been down that road quite a lot, haven’t we!  I know You are big into that. Truly!  🙂 AND I totally trust You…You know that…but today, well, I sometimes wish you would just say something to me or speak a word to me!!”  God must have chuckled when I said that because instantly I remembered this thing I read in the mornings called the Bible!!!

“Oops!  My bad!  I forgot you gave me a whole lot of encouraging words in the Bible…your WORD!!!”   So I backpedalled, rephrased my plea and continued…

“I will start declaring those promises more…thank you for Your word…but I guess what I’m needing today then is just to know that You hear me…that You care…maybe just a bit of encouragement from You.  Things lately have been tough and I feel like I’m failing at well…everything!”

(Psst…I sound whiny, right?  You are right…I WAS whiny!  I should have titled this blog, “Tami’s Needy and Fussy Friday Run”).

However, no sooner had the words “encouragement from You” come out of my mouth than God gave me a picture in my mind.  I knew it was from Him, because not only did it come out of nowhere…with it came what I can only describe as a SUDDEN crashing wave of LOVE!  It was a picture of Him cupping my face in his hands, pulling it up close to His face and bringing it so that our foreheads were touching.  That was it.  With that two second picture,  God had brought me suddenly to tears and with it, the knowing that He cared…that He was THAT close to me…it was incredible.  He didn’t even have to say anything…that picture said it all!  He’s SO close!  It shut me up and left me speechless.  All I could do was cry as his love just took over my heart.

I slowed to a walk.  I dried my tears and found myself smiling!  I looked up and saw how big the sky was (I even stopped to take a picture of it).  I am SO small on this gigantic earth, and yet this amazing God of ALL of creation cares for me!  I suddenly knew everything was going to be okay.  I felt like a brand new person when I got home after my run.  You know, in only two seconds, God can do what might take man years or even a lifetime to fix! 🙂

Psalm 23:6 says “Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life…”  That’s a promise from God…He loves us so much He chases us with that love. 🙂  Let that thought just sink in for a second or two.  It’s HIS love that’s doing the chasing…not ours!   We love because He FIRST loved us.   I love that!

I started this blog with the sole purpose of sharing the good news of what life is like loving Jesus and being loved by Him..that’s why I share these stories about my own crazy and funny life…to encourage and bring hope to others who also go through similar things as me!  I know I’m not the only one who goes through stuff.  So here is YOUR good news for today:  God’s love chases after YOU too.  It’s not just my face He’s holding…it’s yours as well.  All you have to do is close your eyes, and see Him like that.  Or go on a run! 🙂  Invite Him into your heart, and I promise, you will never be the same again.

 

When I was young, maybe about 12 years old, I started doing something that most girls my age were probably not doing.  In the evenings, I would go in my room, put on some praise and worship music (usually church songs from the latest “Hosanna” album 🙂 ), and turn off my lights to remove as many distractions as possible. I would kneel by my bed, and just sing love songs to Jesus.  I wanted to connect with the God of the Universe and so I would talk to Him about everything going on in my life.  I would tell Him that I loved Him and then sit quietly and try to feel His love there in the stillness.  I could always feel it.  It was in those quiet moments when I could really hear Him speaking to my heart…and I knew He was real and that He loved me. To me, He wasn’t some God in a galaxy far, far away…that could never be touched.  He was my loving Father sitting right there with me, speaking to me, comforting me and connecting with me in a personal way.  This relationship with God has continued throughout high school…college…in my marriage…through having children (and losing a child)… and it continues still today.  It is my greatest treasure.

When anyone asks me why I’m a Christian, I tell them this:  It is because He loves me.  It’s not about what is going right or wrong in my life…because let me tell you, life hits you sometimes…but it’s about WHO HE IS and how much He absolutely, head over heels, loves me.  In the most difficult seasons of my life, even when I’ve been mad at God (yes, it’s happened), and I don’t deserve any kindness from Him whatsoever because of the poor choices I’ve made…I simply can’t deny the fact that He loves me beyond measure because I’ve felt it so many times in my life.  His LOVE draws me back, and just like the prodigal’s son, I am embraced by a loving Father who is running toward me…every time!

This blog is about good news.  So here it is!  Do you know that no matter what you’ve done, or where you’ve been…that God absolutely loves you?  He created you with a purpose and a specific plan all with an excited smile on His face.  Do you see Him that way?  Close your eyes and just picture it.  He’s THRILLED at the very thought of YOU!!  The Bible says that He loved you so much He sent Jesus to die on a cross to save you from a life without Him (John 3:16).  He gave His life for YOU!  The Bible says He rejoices over you with singing (Zeph. 3:17)!!  Jesus is LIFE and LOVE and all things beautiful and His heart is FOR you, not against you.  It’s like winning the lottery…only way better! 🙂

So maybe tonight…before you climb into bed, when no one is watching and it’s just you and Him…kneel for a minute and begin talking to Him…or sing Him a little song.  You’ll feel His smile, I promise!

 

 

 

I know I’m not the only one who faces struggles in life.  Everyone does.  Lately we’ve been in another struggle concerning my hubby’s job.  He was laid off in June when the startup company he was working for did not get enough funding to keep him on.  So here we are back in the “job search thing” again.  He’s been amazing in this whole thing, though, and as stressful as it can be at times, he is SO steadfast and strong and I am just in awe of him!  Not only is he searching and doing everything he can to land a new job, but he is so strong in his faith!  He’s human, so he does get frustrated at times with it all…but he’s so good about springing back up with hope and faith.  I, however, have a tougher time with the springing thing! 🙂  As his wife, I honestly feel helpless.  I can’t make the new job happen for him and I wish I could do SOMETHING…ANYTHING!  I wish I could control this whole situation and make the perfect job come his way!  He sends his resumes out continually…and I’m not a business person,  so it’s hard for me to understand how the business world can be so impersonal at times…so I struggle with that too.  I’ve also never been good at waiting.  Yet here we are again…waiting.  Hubby…we should get t-shirts made that say….”We love to wait!” 😉  NOT!

God is into waiting though.  He’s BIG into waiting.

So, the other afternoon I came home from work and went on a run.  I told God, “I feel like You’re far away.  I feel like You used to be close, and now you’re not anymore.  Where are you, God and why are we in this same boat AGAIN??  Why can’t I feel you?  Why does my hubby have to go through this trial again?  It’s not fair.  He’s so faithful to You and he would be such an amazing find for any company!  What on earth, God?  When is our breakthrough going to happen?  Why are You so quiet?  Where in the world are You?  Granted, You love Mike…but do You even still like me…let alone LOVE me???”

Though my running was going UP a hill…my praying was going DOWNhill fast!!

Please tell me you’ve prayed mighty faith-filled prayers like this too!!! 😉  I feel silly that I’m even writing all of this…but I feel like God wants me to share snapshots of my walk with Him so that it might encourage others.  So here you have it!

I ran for a while after this prayer, and it was during my “cool down walk” that it happened.  Maybe because as I was physically cooling down…I was emotionally cooling down too!!  But I suddenly heard God speak to my heart…actually it was more like he spoke to my FACE because the only way I can describe what I felt was that He spoke it right in front of me.  He spoke these two words: “I’m CLOSE.”  I knew instantly it was Him.  It was as if He spoke it right into my ear.  I know how He speaks to me…suddenly and when I least expect it.  He was telling me that like a father or a good friend, He was close…and in that moment, I knew He was not far away at all.  His words felt fatherly and filled me with such reassurance.  He WAS here!  He HAD heard me!   He was CLOSE to me…SO close that His voice was literally in my face!!  In that tiny, little moment, I knew I was hugely important to Him…and that He had a plan and that He liked me…and that He even LOVED me.  I already knew He loved Mike!! 🙂  A job for Mike will come.

All of that in two simple words! 🙂

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I think God is waiting for us to be real with him in our prayers.  God loves it when we are just honest with Him.  He knows our stuff anyway, so it’s not like it’s going to be a big surprise to Him! I started my run heavy with worry, doubt and fear…but I came home feeling light…encouraged and full of hope. The reality is, Mike will find a job and this season will be past.  I know that.  But how quickly I forget that He’s near and that He’s in control and that we don’t need to worry.

Before going to bed, I happened to come across a verse in the Bible that said “As a bridegroom is happy in his bride, so your God is happy with you.” (Isaiah 62:5) I needed to hear that…that God was happy with me.  I think I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

I can hardly wait to blog about the rest of this story when that job comes and we are on the other side of this climb!  I have a feeling it’s going to be a great part 2!!  He’s close to you too and your part 2 is coming as well!!

God is close! 🙂

 

My parents had us over for a lovely dinner last night, and we had a great time!  The not having to cook dinner part was a dream come true for me!! 🙂  Afterwards, my mom and I had a nice time just catching up and talking about the week.  I told her how pooped I was from the week.  As many of you know, I teach Kindergarten and as much as I LOVE it…let’s be honest…they are five year olds!  Twenty one of them.  I just happened to mention to her that I have this “formula” I follow when I’m feeling tired or worn out from the day or week.  I told her what it was, and she said, “Tami, you should blog this!” So, here I am…blogging it for you! 🙂 Tami’s secret formula for what to do when you are worn out!! Ha! Ha! Are you ready?

Do you have a job that takes it out of you?  Kids who wear you out?  Things you volunteer for that are draining you dry?  Then you throw in all the sports, helping your kids with homework, after school activities, and just keeping up with the house and laundry…and that’s enough to wear anyone out! That’s when you can pull out this tried and true formula!  You will be feeling wonderful in no time! 🙂

Okay, here it is:  When I need strength, I tell myself these two things:

1) “The joy of the Lord is my strength!” (which is from Nehemiah chapter 8 verse 10).

2)  Then I say, “and in YOUR PRESENCE is fullness of JOY!!” (which is from Psalm chapter 16 verse 11).

Basically, if I need strength, I need to find joy…and where does my joy come from?  Well, that’s found spending time in God’s presence.  It’s not rocket science, but to me, it’s a formula for success!

But, you mathematicians may like this version:    J + S = GP  (Joy + Strength = God’s Presence)  Okay, that made me chuckle a little! I just wrote a formula!

This summer, my Dad and I created this little garden surrounding my patio.  It’s small…but it’s beautiful and it’s all mine when my Hubby and my kiddos are otherwise busy.  It’s my place where I can be alone and spend time with Jesus.  I can unplug…and give the Creator of the Universe my full attention and just tell Him how much I love Him.  I tell Him how thankful I am to Him for everything He’s doing in my life.  It’s my time to read His word and just love Him.  Sometimes, I do plug back in, but it’s to listen to my Bible app called “Dwell” (check it out…SO cool!!).  I listen to worship songs and just sing to Him (not loud…I have neighbors!!) In THOSE moments, I am literally filled up like a car that was on empty but is now at the gas station!  I feel His love and His presence and His joy.  Everything in life is suddenly put back into the right perspective and I actually feel stronger.  So, that’s why it makes me think of those two verses from the Bible and that’s how “the formula” originated! 🙂  It works every time!

The tricky part is carving time out of a busy day to make that happen.  BUT…sometimes, it can be a simple “Jesus, I love you” as you head into a meeting, or a “God, I know you are with me and I’m so grateful to you” as you’re doing the dishes.  Spending time in God’s presence doesn’t have to be a long thing…it can be lot’s of little moments throughout the day.  He loves when we love Him! 🙂

So that’s it.  That’s the secret formula.  The thing is…when we take time out to love on God, we will suddenly find ourselves being loved by Him!  Surprise!!  And it’s because of His incredible love that we find this joy of being His and living life to it’s fullest…and that knowledge fills us with an inner strength that will carry us through.  

“A man’s mind plans his way (as he journeys through life), But the Lord directs his steps and establishes them.”  Proverbs 16:9 AMP

I’m not a person who likes surprises.  I know, surprising, right?  🙂  For me, the joy is in “the planning”!  Am I a “type-A” kind of person who likes things predictable?  YES!  Absolutely, yes.  Very much so.  I want to know what is coming, when it is coming, and for how long it will be happening.  If I’m on a road trip, I have the maps ready, the snacks in a bag, the itinerary in my hands, and my watch handy to check the time.  My sweet hubby once took my watch away on a vacation because I was so afraid of being late for our next event that it was sucking up all the fun for him in being spontaneous and just relaxing.  Really!!  It was horrible not to have my watch on that day!  🙂  That was early on in our marriage and I learned to keep my watch-checking to a discreet minimum! 😉  BUT…I don’t like surprises.  I don’t want anything to mess up THE PLAN!  Cause…I’m a planner, what can I say?

So it’s no wonder that I like my LIFE to be planned out and predictable as well.  Doesn’t everyone? 😉  I have “destinations” that I want us to be at in life.  In order to get there…I need to plan!  But it seems that as much as I plan for things to happen certain ways, or in certain times…they never happen according to MY plan.  I sound like a whiny kid when I say it like that, don’t I?

It’s almost as if God looks at my plans, smiles, and does the complete opposite most of the time!  “Is this one of those stretching seasons again, God?  Didn’t we just do one of those?”  😉 So, as my plans get “thwarted”, I create new plans of course…and again the opposite or something totally out of the blue sets us off course again!! Seriously??  “But God…I have these PLANS!  Didn’t you see them?  Didn’t you get my last memo which included all the specifics as to what should happen and when?”

“Surprise!” God says. 🙂

Oh yeah.  He got the memo!!  But…I’m not the only one with plans.  I’m realizing that He’s created a few plans too!  I know, I know…I’m slow…but I’m catching on!

Now, I have to say, the things that DO happen instead aren’t necessarily BAD…they just weren’t according to “my plan”.  In fact, I will honestly admit to you that MOST of the time…the things that happen set us on a course to things that are better than what was on my plan!  For example, when Mike lost his job, it gave me the courage to go back into teaching again full time.  After being a stay-at-home mom for 11 years, I felt afraid to go back to work full time.  I may have talked myself out of it otherwise.  But Mike’s job situation was not in our plan…no one plans for a job loss…yet God used that circumstance to give me the courage to go back to teaching and it turned out to be an incredible blessing!  I’ve always loved teaching and it feels good to be back!  In fact, I teach at the same school my kids go to, so I see them MORE…which is another blessing from God!  Not my plan…but yet a better one than I had.

So…I’ve decided to stop planning so much.  Truly.  I’m going to dream instead and do more of my planning WITH God than on my own.   My plans just seem to pale in comparison to the ones HE has for my life, and I think I’m just going to lean back into his embrace, let HIM steer the boat and just enjoy the ride!  Sounds nice, doesn’t it?  I think that’s called trusting God.

We recently moved and I have this cute little patio now that my Dad (an amazing native plant gardener) has helped me transform into this amazing garden!  I like to go sit out there in the mornings with my coffee, my Bible, plug into some worship music and just spend time loving Jesus!  🙂 It’s a great way to start the day.  Last week my Dad came over to add a few more flowers to the garden and planted two red ones that would soon bloom.  Well, guess what bloomed?  One red one…and one PINK one!  A pink one??

“Surprise!!”

God’s timing cracks me up!

I noticed it this morning as I was thinking about God’s plans being better than ours and how great the unexpected can be.  I love my pink flowers!!!   I didn’t have pink in the garden yet, and God knew that.  This was His funny way of telling me His plans are good!  I AM on the right track and His plans are always far and above better than my own!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

-Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption.

I can remember sitting in my hospital bed.  The stifling shock of the nights event permeated my very being.  I felt lost, confused, grief-stricken and hopeless after losing my first born son only two weeks before his due date.  I had delivered Kael stillborn, and as nurses were taking care of me, I was supposed to begin recovering.   I remember all of our family were there, and visitors were waiting outside my room.  I didn’t want to see anyone…not anyone but the one person I couldn’t see or hold or feel anymore…my baby boy.

It was only that morning that I had been told the news that he was dead and there was no heart beating anymore.  I was to deliver him anyway…”God, where are You in all of this?  Do you see what’s going to happen?”  My heart broke that day.  If you’ve read my other blogs over the years, you know the rest of the story, AND about how God rescued me.  But this blog today is about how it all started with a little bit of hope.

While in my hospital room that first day, people came to visit and offer their sweet prayers for us and offer us their comfort.  There was one woman who came from our church…and in my despair I don’t even remember her name.  Honestly, I didn’t care who she was.  I was dead inside.  Looking back now I wish I had paid more attention.  She came to pray for me and she brought me a book that had helped her in a difficult time.  She was so sweet and I remember wishing she would go away.  Anyway,  this book was written by a group of women called “Women of Faith” and it was entitled “Hope.”  I had no idea what that book would come to mean to me.  I couldn’t help the way I felt then…but I wish I could tell her “thank you”.  Her simple act of visiting me and praying for me changed everything.

We were given over twenty books on grief over the weeks and months to come.  I read many of them, and finally decided  “I get it,” and didn’t pick up another one.  I was tired of reading about death, and dealing with grief.  I didn’t want to read about it anymore.  I wanted to read about Heaven and move on.  I wanted to think about where Kael was now, and focus on the road ahead of me… and it was then that my eyes landed on that book about hope that the woman had given me at the hospital. My faith had been shipwrecked, I knew that.  But I didn’t want to stay floating in the wreckage.  I wanted my faith to swim to shore!  As I picked up the book, God spoke to my heart and said, “You can start with hope.  There is no risk in that.  It’s the first step to believing that I love you more than you realize.”

So I began to read.  I read hope-filled story after story about God coming through and answering prayers and healing and loving, and as I read, I felt hope seeping in.  It didn’t happen overnight, but it was my start.  In Isaiah 43:2, God says, “when you go through deep waters, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.  When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up.”  God became my hope.  He rescued me.  I survived, and not only that, I have seen God’s incredible goodness to me and have come out on the other side stronger.  Not only that, but today I am head-over-heels in love with Jesus and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He loves me too!

Life is full of tough seasons…I don’t need to tell anyone that.  But, I am often reminded of God’s hope, and so I thought I would share it with you today.  When the worst in life happens, there is a loving God who will walk through it with you as He did with me.

I love how God speaks.  Only HE could use a couple little boxes of raisins to convey His love to me! It sounds crazy, doesn’t it!  But sometimes He uses the little things to speak about something much bigger!

Lately, I’ve noticed that He’s been providing for me in these silly little ways…and it took me a while before I realized it was Him.  It started the other day when I was at Home Goods buying a gift card for someone to give to them as a gift.  I got home and realized that I had totally forgotten about a previous gift I had bought for this same person already!   I have an extra gift now!  So, I just stuck the gift card in my purse for the future.  The next day I remembered that I had wanted to bless my sister-in-law with a special Mother’s day gift, and not having any time to shop, I suddenly remembered the Home Goods gift card which was exactly what I had planned to get her!  Yay!  Perfect!  “What a coincidence,” I thought to myself.

Then, the next day I had bought groceries and when asked if I wanted cash back, I selected “yes” and got $20 out.  Now, this may NOT seem strange to you, but if you know me, you know I hardly ever carry cash…I do most everything with my debit card!  But for some reason, I selected the cash back option.  I had no plan for that cash.  That afternoon at my daughter’s volleyball practice, a mom came up to each of us wanting to know if we wanted to all go in on a gift for the coaches.  She said the recommended amount was $20.  “Yes!”  I remembered the cash back!  What perfect timing!!  I remember thinking to myself, “It’s like I’m prepared lately for things ahead of time without realizing it!”  This does not usually happen for me.

A few days later was Mother’s Day and we decided to go to the later service.  No sooner did we park the car and walk in but I felt SUPER hungry!  My Mother’s Day breakfast was long ago now, and I was feeling like I needed a second one!  Normally we are at the early service and breakfast is still sticking to my ribs!  But…this was later…it was closer to my lunch time now and my body knew it!  😉  We sat down and all I could think about was, “maybe I have some mints or some tic tac’s or something…”  I opened up my purse and was pleasantly surprised to see two little boxes of unopened raisins!!   It was like looking at a buffet in there!!  FOOD!!  🙂  A few days prior, I had put these in my purse thinking I would snack on them at work and totally forgot they were there!  Again with the little providing thing!  I was beginning to see a pattern…and I actually had to chuckle at this one! Were these just coincidences or was God saying something bigger to me?  I smiled.  Eating my delicious little raisins before church started, I already knew the answer.  God is just funny like that!

He’s providing…even before I ask.  He’s a step ahead of me and preparing the way so that when I get to the point where there is a need, He’s already provided the answer and the means.  It’s as if He’s reminding me, “Tami, don’t worry.  I’m already ahead of you.  I’ve got you.  I’ve got a good plan.  As you trust in Me, all of your needs from the smallest to the largest will be met even before you ask.”

All this because of a few silly little reminders from my purse! 😉

He has perfect timing too.  He even knew ahead of time that this week was not going to be one of my favorites.  😉  So what did He do?  He spoke this word to me beforehand.  Thoughts of those sweet raisins in my purse kept coming to mind.  Again…He’s one step ahead of me.

Song of Songs 2:5 “Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.”

It was 10:30 and I had just turned out the light to go to sleep.  My door opened and a light from the hall shone in.  Standing there frightened was my 8 year old daughter who burst into tears saying, “Mommy…my legs are hurting!!”  I sprang out of bed to see what was wrong and she was holding her legs crying!  I could feel panic trying to enter into my mommy heart!  I asked a million questions about the pains before consulting an expert…MY Mom…and it was SHE who said, “it sounds like it’s growing pains.  I used to get those as a kid, and boy did they hurt!”  She advised me to “google growing pains” and we discovered that all the symptoms my daughter was experiencing lined up with growing pains being the cause.  I gave her some children’s tylenol, we massaged her little legs and even had a little warm heating pad on them.  It was thirty minutes later and she was back in bed asleep.
I found out that according to WebMD, there is no evidence that growing pains are linked to growth spurts.  Instead they may simply be muscle aches due to intense childhood activities that can wear your child’s muscles out.  They are more common after a kid has a full day of sports.  From further research, I found out that although doctors don’t believe that growing causes pain, growing pains stop when kids stop growing.  By teen years, most growing pains have stopped.  My daughter had done a lot at the beach on Sunday with a lot of running and walking in sand, then there was P.E. at school and Softball practice on Tuesday…no wonder her muscles were tired!

Growing pains tend to begin around dinner time (which was true for her), and get worse at bedtime and then they may wake up with them in the middle of the night.  BUT by morning they are gone.  This was the case for our girl!  In the morning she felt great…and so did we! 😉

Growing pains.  That was a new one for us.

I was telling my hubby later the next evening that my shoulders felt sore from the day and with a smile, he leaned in and told me, “maybe it’s growing pains”!  Isn’t he a funny one…Ha!  But SUDDENLY a light went on in my head…Growing pains!!!  That’s it!!  I instantly felt a blog coming on!!  Forget the sore shoulders…where’s my laptop?!  Sometimes God can speak to us through the strangest things!

Most of you already know that this past year for us has been…well…different… to say the least.  We did not PLAN to walk the road we’ve been traveling on…and at times it’s been really hard to see what God’s plan was.  Could we be exhausted from so much use of our “faith muscles”?!!  Is it possible that we may have growing pains too?!! 😉  “Pressing on” can be hard at times especially when you are trusting God for what you don’t yet see.

I’m often reminded of Proverbs 16:9 which says, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”  Sounds frustrating in a way…but if you know God’s heart to be one of love and a desire to bless, it’s actually a GOOD thing that He’s determining those steps!!  Sometimes God changes our plans because He knows stuff that we don’t!  🙂  Of course!  We all know that… but do we all know that He ALWAYS has a good end in sight for us?!  He is a loving Father so He wants what’s best for us…just as we want the best for our kids!

It’s easy to forget that though if we take our eyes off of Him…so it’s like walking on a path in THICK fog!!  We’ve been doing our best to trust God and see where the road leads us.   But, it has NOT been easy… and sometimes it’s felt rather painful… just like my daughter’s growing pains.  So we’ve come to our Heavenly Father sometimes in the middle of the night with tears in our eyes, “Daddy…can you help us?  We’re hurting.”  His answer is always soothing love, warm comfort (like that heating pad!), and REST for our aching muscles.  “Rest in Me,” He says with open arms.  “Trust Me,” He says.  “I’ve got this…and I’ve got you.”

Experiencing growing pains means that we are growing, right?  And that’s GOOD!!  This season has produced so much growth in us…if nothing else!  Let’s see… we’ve grown closer as a family.  I have heard that storms will either bring people closer or tear people apart…and we’ve become a strong little Pearson unit!  Our kiddos are learning to trust in God along with us on this journey…something that is SO IMPORTANT in this life!  We’ve also grown closer to Jesus as we’ve spent more time seeking His face…making it about loving HIM and not consumed by our circumstances. Our faith and trust in Him has grown as we’ve seen Him provide for us and bless us!  We are now seeing the fog clearing and things are beginning to fall into really cool places…many of which never would have happened had we NOT travelled down this foggy path!  Who knew?! 🙂

Well, I guess God did.

The best part of growing pains is that there is an end in sight…morning is coming!  God’s word tells us that “weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning!” (Psalm 30:5). God is so good at restoring and blessing and we are so excited to see what will unfold in the days ahead! We’re growing faster in this season…and that’s exciting!

Growing pains.

Who knew there’d be a blog in THAT?!?  Well… again, I guess God did. 😉

Guess what day it is?  It’s Thursday again and that means it’s my day off!!  🙂  Woo Hoo!  So today I decided it would be a GREAT day for a mommy get-away bike ride!  Since we’ve had this beautiful spring weather lately, I decided to take Daisy (some of you might remember from previous blogs that “Daisy” is my bike!) out for a ride!  So, after happily taking the kiddos to school, I ever-so-gently CRAMMED Daisy into the back of my car and headed for the trail!

Now, this may sound silly to some, but in my mind, I pictured myself biking at a somewhat leisurely pace along a nice flat paved trail.  Picture Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy in the Muppet Movie!  There would be birds singing, flowers blooming and some bees gently buzzing by off in the distance.  From somewhere probably beautiful, a gentle breeze would blow my hair back as I pedaled on…and it would be glorious! Simply glorious!

Unfortunately… somehow in my daydream, I guess I had forgotten to factor in all the many hills that are along the trail, and before too long I found myself in REALITY huffing and puffing up some treacherous mountain range instead! 😉  Did I take a wrong turn?  Was I heading up Mt. Diablo by mistake??  Sadly, no.  Were there birds singing or bees buzzing?  Ummm….that I don’t know…because all I could hear was my own loud panting and gasping for air!  Are you wondering if there were flowers blooming?  I really can’t say that I saw much other than the pavement up ahead as I’d track how much further to the summit!!  There WAS, however, that gentle breeze…ahhh yes, there it was…because I could feel it blowing through my sweaty helmet hair when I’d stop to breathe.

But I found that if I stopped occasionally to drink water, eat a bite of granola bar and rest a bit, I could keep going.  It was like I had “powered up”.

Daisy is not made for this type of bike ride.  She’s heavy and sturdy…and well, she has a cute little basket that isn’t that light especially when it’s full of my layers of clothing that got stripped off along the way.  She’s made for one purpose, and that is to simply look cute on rides to the Farmer’s Market, possibly with a small puppy riding in the basket and me wearing sandals, a skirt and a sunhat!  She’s not made for “real” bike riding adventures such as this!!   I wanted to cry out to the other bikers (the REAL bikers) that kept effortlessly passing by us, “What was I thinking??”

But today, even though I felt like quitting so many times, I just kept telling myself to push through it.  I’m doing this thing lately, where I’m trying to “train my brain” (in life and in exercise), not to quit.  You see, as hard as it was to pedal uphill for so long, I just kept thinking about how this is like my life (all of our lives) sometimes.  We’re on this “uphill” season and it feels SO incredibly long, but we’re almost there and we can see the top now! We don’t want to quit.  If we keep trusting God, taking breaks to rest up and refresh in His presence, and hold steady to and continue to stand on God’s promises for our lives, we will get to the top!  It might even be worth it!! 😉

Eventually, Daisy and I DID reach the top and you know what happened next?  You know that expression that says, “what goes up must come down?”  Well, we got to come down!  Do you bike ride?  If not, did you ride as a kid?  Do you remember the feeling of biking down a hill SO SUPER fast that your stomach flip flops?  It’s absolutely exhilarating!!  As I biked down the steepest hills on the trail, I could feel the exhilaration tingle through my whole body!!!  I even heard myself squealing and saying out loud, “THIS was SO worth it!!”  The wind seemed to carry us as we zoomed down with such speed that I think both Daisy and I were shocked that she had it in her! It was like we were flying!!

I wish I could type this with more emphasis than capital letters:  It was SO WORTH THE LONG CLIMB!!!

THIS was indeed my reward!

Instantly I felt God on that trail with me.  Must be why I felt so alive!  His love swept in with the breeze as we sailed down the hills, and He reminded me then and there that this “climb” we’ve been on in our life journey right now will be so worth it when we see what He has in store!!  Isn’t God so awesome!  He shows up when we least expect it!  Not just a bike ride anymore, but suddenly I had renewed hope for the days ahead.

Is life BEYOND tough right now and you want to give up?  Please don’t.  God is there with you, just as He was with me on this amazing ride! I’d like to think you’re reading this right now just so God can remind you that He’s got you in the palm of His hand…and if you put your trust in Him, letting Him simply love on you, He will see you through anything.  Nothing is too hard for Him!  “I am the Lord, the God of all the peoples of the world.  Is anything too hard for Me?” (Jeremiah 32:27).  See?  Told ya! 😉

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.”