I have a hard time with messes…I won’t lie!!  Being a mother of three I am surrounded by messes…all day long! It gets so old.  I have all too often “lost my cool” over toys strewn throughout the house, messy rooms, or crayon art on the hallway walls!  This morning was no exception!!  A friend of mine (who does not have kids) had me over for a game night not too long ago.  When I walked into her beautiful apartment, my jaw dropped….it was just so beautiful it sparkled!!  There were real candles glittering on the coffee table…yes, real ones!  There was a plush WHITE carpet with the straightest, most beautiful vacuum lines I’d ever seen!  It even smelled like flowers!!!  My house does NOT smell like flowers.  Ugh!!

When my oldest daughter was about four, I was having one of those rough days where everything (and I mean everything) was going wrong.  My house, on top of everything else, was a complete mess.  Without me noticing, she walked into the living room with her milk and set it on the end table by the couch.  You can see where this is going, right?  Within a minute, she had knocked it over with such force that it hit the wall with a splash!  I heard it and came racing in to see milk dripping down the wall, and quickly soaking into the carpet.  I’m not kidding when I tell you that I literally began to cry…hard.  It was the last straw!  My four year old child stood watching as her adult mommy began to cry like a baby…not one of my finer moments.  It was milk!!  WAH!!

STILL CRYING, I began to clean it up.  Almost immediately I heard the Lord so clearly speak to my heart, “Are you crying over spilled milk, Tami?”  Talk about turning tears into laughter!  “Yes, Lord!  I am crying over spilled milk.” In His sweet way, He assured me He saw my frustrated heart.  It was as if He was saying, “I can help…if you’ll let me.”  I surrendered the rest of my day to Him, let go of the need for perfect, and the frustration left along with the tears.

Today, I’m not going to stress over the mess!! 🙂 There are bigger things to cry about than messy rooms and spilled milk. I’m going to think about Zephaniah 3:17, “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.  He will take great delight in you; in His love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing!”

When I sit outside and watch my kids play, I sometimes close my eyes, tilt my face upward, and just feel the sun on my face.  It feels so wonderfully peaceful, and it’s almost like an escape (that is, until the kids start tossing balls or frisbees near my head). Sometimes I’ll even imagine I’m on a beach somewhere….(until once again, the kids fighting with each other brings me back to reality)!!   Then I always find myself thinking, “Why don’t I do this more?  This is so nice!”  I’ve finally slowed down my life a little to enjoy a simple moment…something I so often miss out on in the craziness of my daily life.

I think God’s love feels like the sunshine.  It’s warming and its peaceful, and I’m left wondering why I don’t allow myself to sit and bask in it more.  I too often feel the need to talk God’s ear off, pray for China, read a million devotionals, or “accomplish” things when I spend time with Him.  But I think, more than anything He truly loves it when we just take the moment to sit quietly and bask in the sunny warmth of His love.  Oh how He loves to love us…yes, us! 🙂

“One day spent in Your house, this beautiful place of worship, beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches….All sunshine and sovereign is God, generous in gifts and glory.”  Psalm 84:10-11 (Message version).

Today I’m going to bask a little more…I just want to feel His warming love.

Waiting.  I hate waiting.  Do you ever feel like you are constantly waiting for something?  I do. I’m always WAITING!!!  Waiting in the drive-thru line at Starbucks, waiting for my kids to finish their dinners before bedtime (it takes them forever!!), waiting for the elliptical machine at the gym…waiting in traffic.  Inside, I’m irritated and annoyed.  Outwardly I may look like a nice person…but inwardly, I’m anything but nice, and I’m thinking horrid thoughts!!  “How many coffees are you ordering lady??  Seriously!!! What’s the holdup?!?”  I ordered a swimsuit online back in early April (yes, I know the risks involved in that!)  but I didn’t want to wait in line at the store with my wild children.  I received an email a week later that said it was “backordered” until May 26. Ugh!! And I know it’s most likely not going to fit and I’m going to have to order a new one and wait more….I see the vicious cycle…trust me!

The worst part is…I have realized that I don’t wait well…so I may be stuck in this boat a while. 🙂  I’m going to be waiting to get out of the boat now!!  Again with the waiting!

One thing I have learned in my waiting though…is that with God, there is always a good end…the wait is well worth it.  Whether it’s for a job, or a heart’s desire to come to pass…He has a blessing at the end of it!  It’s like pregnancy…the nine months can be rough…and feel like 29 months…but when baby arrives, there is no remembrance of the wait.  It’s all about the blessing!

Psalm 27:13-14 says “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” I like the Message version…it says “Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit.”

A few months ago, Mike and I were blessed with some free babysitting, and since it was a gorgeous day,  we decided to spend the day away on a romantic bike ride getaway!!  We bought a used bike rack online and strapped our bikes to the back of the car.  We were beyond excited!!  About a mile into our journey, right before heading into a curvy country road, something on the rack broke off (no wonder it was on sale used!) and both of our bikes went flying off behind us!!!  I looked back to see sparks glittering in the air and our bikes doing somersaults on the pavement.   A giant herd of dairy cows came running over from the pasture to see what the show was all about!  They watched us the entire time…and it soon felt as if they were silently cheering us on!  Mike quickly pulled the car over, (thank goodness no other cars were behind us) and got our bikes off the road.  Amazingly, they were pretty scratched up, but still in their original shapes.  I expected to be collecting bike body parts all over the road…but that wasn’t the case.  Needless to say, we did not bike that day. We did, however, find other fun things to do and it turned into a wonderful day!

You know, it’s crazy, but what I remember most vividly about our day was not all the other fun things we did, but that ridiculous bike incident…and the cows that came running!  In thinking about it today, I came up with a life lesson for myself….”when life throws you flying bicycles, notice that you have cheering cows on your side!”  Or…in better words, when bad things happen and you watch your dreams begin to fade…remember that God can turn your situation around for good, and cause people to cheer you on along the way!  And if the people don’t cheer, I know some very friendly cows who will! 🙂

Selma Emelia Mallen was my Great Grandmother.  Born in Sweden, she came to America as a teenager by herself and started a life for herself here.  She may have thought that the decision to come was hers alone…but I believe God guided her heart and led her here.

I’m a genealogist at heart.  Uncovering the past and piecing together the stories of those who came before me is exciting!  It’s like I can see God’s hand in all the little decisions that were made…so that today…I more fully understand why I am the way I am.  So many of my ancestors faced such hardship, and yet they persevered and continued on.  I wish I could tell them how proud I am of them…of how special they are to me.

I am told that Selma was an amazing cook!  I have a cookie recipe passed down to me that was hers.  When I make Selma’s cookies, I feel like she’s looking down from heaven and smiling at me.  I never knew her, but I’m honored to be her great granddaughter.

Yesterday, I visited her gravesite for the first time.  I know she’s not there…she’s in Heaven…but I felt so compelled to let her know that she was not forgotten…not by me, and one day when Jesus takes me Home, I will get the thrill of meeting her.  Until then, I remember Selma.

Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by life?  As a mom of three, sometimes even the hundreds of little things that I have to keep up with daily… piled together with the different school events, my work, the incredibly messy house, the stresses of life, etc. just completely overwhelm me!  According to the dictionary, “overwhelm” means to cover over completely, as by a great wave; to overflow and bury beneath; to engulf, to overpower.  Last night, it felt as if life came in as a huge wave, and I was submerged beneath it looking up through the water toward the light!  Sounds dramatic, when I read that back…but that’s how I felt!

This morning I ran to God.   I put on some worship music and the song by Big Daddy Weave called “Overwhelmed” came on…but in this song, it is about being overwhelmed by God…not by life.  What a thought! Overwhelmed, not by heavy stress, but by powerful love! Overwhelm me God!!!  Let it be a wave of your love that washes over me…I could happily be engulfed in that!! I don’t feel overwhelmed by life today.  Now I feel overwhelmed by a God who saves me with His love and enables me to go through my day rejoicing.

“From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the Rock (that’s Jesus) that is higher than I.”  Psalm 61:2.

Before I married my husband, and I would go on dates, I never wanted my date to feel like they had to spend a fortune on me at dinner.  So, I would always find the cheapest entree (usually a pasta item) and order the next item up from that.  That way, it wasn’t obvious what I was trying to do, and my date would not have to break the bank to take me out! Yes, yes, very thoughtful, I know! 🙂  A little over four years ago, I sat down to do something, when all of a sudden the Lord spoke something to my heart.  He said, “Tami, I want you to order the most expensive thing on the menu.” I knew instantly what he was referring to.  The most expensive thing…He wanted to bless me!  Instantly, I said, “Lord, I want a son.”  There was no hesitation. You see, we had two daughters already, but our first born son was in  heaven…so I still wanted to have a boy.  But we had talked about being “done” with having more kids… and I wasn’t sure how to tell my husband that I thought maybe we should try one more time for a son.  When I told him, he looked at me with a smile and said, “I’ve been praying for this for about two weeks now and wasn’t sure how to tell you that I think we should do the same.”  Was God in it, or what?! That month we conceived our son.

God is so generous and His desire is to bless us with our hearts desire.  “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4.

Two sweet little doves visited our home this past week.  It was so exciting!  On Friday, they found a narrow windowsill by our front door to perch on and just look cute.  Unafraid of us, they would let us get up close and photograph them, and then we’d talk about how God must have sent them to us to let us know He loves us.  Monday, however, I noticed something odd.  There were piles of twigs and roots on the ground below the windowsill.  Oh no! Those doves are trying to build a nest on that darn windowsill!  There’s no way a nest will fit up there!!  But, determined, they continued on in their futile efforts!  This went on for a couple of days and then it happened.  On Thursday, we saw the splattered egg on the ground with all the twigs and roots.  They tried to lay the egg with no nest and it probably rolled right off the sill to it’s sad end.  In a semicircle, the kids and I stared at it for some time wondering all the while where the doves went.  I won’t lie…my mommy heart inside was breaking.  Was I wrong to let us all become so attached to these doves?

Doves are doves.  They have many beautiful qualities, but I am told they are not great nest-builders. It’s okay…no one is perfect.  I wonder what it’s like for God when He watches me doing things the wrong way.  I want to be quick to accept His loving guidance.  Unlike the doves, I want my nest-building to be a success!  Help me, Lord to do things the right way. Your way is always the best way.